The Wilder Zone

When You're Cranky and You Know It...

I had a "Duh!" moment the other day. Not as much fun as an "A-ha!" moment, but valuable all the same. "A-ha!" moments are those moments when everything clicks into place and you gain a new understanding or insight. "Duh!" moments, on the other hand, are those moments in which you recognize something quite obvious that you should have been aware of, usually are aware of, but that you somehow lost sight of somewhere along the way.

My "Duh!" moment came after a couple of days of feeling cranky. At first I couldn't figure out why I was feeling so irritable. All I knew was that I was. Sometimes simply becoming aware of it shifts it, but this time I was aware of it and I wanted VERY much not to be feeling so irritable but that wasn't helping. It felt at the time almost as though it were beyond my control. I didn't want to be feeling cranky, but I was, dammit, and the more aware of it I became, the more cranky I got because I wasn't shifting out of it easily. (It's a vicious cycle that way.)

Mid-way through the second day my frustration with myself and my mood was so intense that I wanted to either scream or cry. "What the hell is my problem?" was the question that kept running through my mind. I live an extraordinary life that I share with an amazing man, doing work that I love. Most days I experience a depth of happiness, contentment and satisfaction that for most of my life I'd never even dreamed was possible. Reminding myself of this truth, however, was not helping. So, what the hell was my problem?

I hadn't been feeling very well for several days, but it wasn't so bad that I needed to lie in bed all day, I just wasn't quite up to par. No big deal, except that I have a bad habit of expecting myself to function well regardless. That's where it began...with my frustration with my inability to ignore how I was feeling and to function as if I weren't sick less than well. (You see....I have a hard time even writing the word "sick." I don't want to admit that I am sick, let alone cut myself some slack.)

It was my resistance to not feeling well that originally created my frustration and irritability. Resisting what is, regardless of whether or not what is meets your preferences, always causes unnecessary grief. I wasn't feeling well, and no amount of pushing myself or trying to talk myself out of the fact that I wasn't feeling well, was going to change it. I needed to let it run its course and had I accepted that at the outset I could have been gentler with myself and allowed myself to work when I could and rest when I needed to.

To make matters worse, the frustration and irritability was infectious. It carried over to everything else. My "Duh!" moment came when I realized that I was mentally complaining about everything...little things....things that don't normally faze me in the least. Duh! No wonder I was cranky. I had inadvertently shifted my focus from one of appreciation for the moment and what is, to one that was focused solely on my life's inability to meet my personal preferences for how I thought it "should" be. In the process I created an even greater gap between my preferences and what was. Hmmm....funny how that works. : )

The next time you're having an "off" day, feeling cranky or irritable, take a good look at the thoughts that've been running through your head. Complaints, whether or not you ever speak them to anyone, serve no purpose but to make you miserable, and miserable to be around. Try accepting, and surrendering to what is, rather than resisting and bitching about it and I'll bet your mood will turn around very quickly.

Are You Living an Extraordinary Life?

On the surface my life is quite ordinary. I'm not a billionaire. I don't own three gargantuan homes, a fleet of ridiculously expensive cars or a private jet. I don't have a personal chef, a housekeeper or a butler. I don't have a giant walk-in closet with 3,000 pair of designer shoes, an expensive evening gown for every day of the year or a jewelry box full of diamonds. And I'm not sitting on the beach on a tropical island sipping a margarita as I write this. (Although I'm working on that last part...how cool would that be?!)

Despite not having all those things, I live an extraordinary life. I live a life that for most of my life I never even dared to dream of. More than that...that I didn't even know was possible. It was so far out of my experience that I couldn't conceive of living the life I do now.

“Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take,
but by the moments that take our breath away.” - anonymous

You see, I'm not a materialistic person and I don't measure my life by the things I own or the balance in my checking account. I measure my life, as the quote above says, by the moments that take my breath away. My life is not extraordinary because of untold material riches, but because of the richness of the experiences each day brings. It's in the little but oh-so-meaningful things...

It's waking each morning wrapped in my honey's arms, the feeling of being so well-loved filling my being.

It's the sound of the birds chirping outside our window as the early dawn light softly fills the room.

It's our sweet puppy greeting us with unrestrained enthusiasm and excitement after we've been gone, whether for five minutes or five hours, or watching her romp with the other dogs at the doggie swimming pool.

It's tickle time with my honey's boys, the sound of their laughter, or the look in their eyes when they gaze so adoringly at their dad.

It's the unexpected phone call from my son (calling from CA) to share some news, or simply to say hi.

It's the sound of my son's laughter and the sparkle in his eyes when he teases me.

It's witnessing a client's spontaneous "a-ha!" moment, or hearing the joy in their voice after a new breakthrough.

It's brainstorming a new idea or project with a colleague that sparks even greater passion for the work I do.

It's the sight of my honey coming up the walkway after work, and the soft, sweet kiss that follows.

It's that first bite of a delicious meal, or the first sip of a really good espresso or wine.

It's the feel of the sun, and a cool breeze, on my skin on a warm summer day.

It's a cold beer on a hot afternoon.

It's the sight of a beautiful rainbow after an afternoon thunderstorm or the amazing sunset that lights the sky up with shades of orange, pink, and purple.

It's kicking back in my favorite comfy spot with a good book, indulging in a luxurious massage, or catching up with a friend.

It's the long, heart-to-heart talk with my honey that lingers into the wee hours of the morning.

It's waking early on the weekend to realize I don't have to be up and snuggling back in for another hour or two.

It's cruising along in my sweet little honda civic on a gorgeous day with the tunes cranked up, singing and moving to the rhythm of an upbeat song.

It's laughing with my honey until we cry and our sides hurt. 

I could go on and on. My life is filled with these moments, as I'm sure yours is too. What makes them extraordinary, what makes my life extraordinary, is living in the moment, being fully present for these moments. Reveling in them, savoring them, opening my heart and soul fully to them, and truly appreciating them.

It's brought me indescribable joy, made my life (and my biz) so much more meaningful and fulfilling that even in those moments that are less joyful, or downright hard, there's an underlying sense of peace and well-being.

Extraordinary is one of those illusive words that has different meanings for different people. Only you can define what an extraordinary life is for you. How is your life extraordinary? And if it isn't, what do you need to do to open more fully to your life and to the precious moments that can make it extraordinary?

Photo originally uploaded by dtcchc

Ten Other Commandments to Live By

1.  You shall not worry, for worry is the most unproductive of all human activities.

2.  You shall not be fearful, for most of the things we fear never come to pass.

3.  You shall not carry grudges, for they are the heaviest of all life's burdens.

4.  You shall face each problem as it comes. You can only handle one at a time anyway.

5.  You shall not take problems to bed with you, for they make very poor bedfellows.

6.  You shall not borrow other people's problems. They can better care for them than you.

7.  You shall not try to relive yesterday for good or ill, it is forever gone. Concentrate on what is happening    in your life and be happy now.

8.  You shall be a good listener, for only when you listen do you hear ideas different from your own.

9.  You shall not become bogged down by frustration, for 90% of it is rooted in self-pity and will only interfere with positive action.

10. You shall count your blessings, never overlooking the small ones, for a lot of small blessings add up to a big one.

~ Author Unknown

Have you made other commitments to live by? If so, I hope you'll take a few moments to share them in the comments.

Photo originally uploaded by claireg73

Say What You Need to Say

 Whether you're writing posts for your blog, writing marketing copy, or speaking to potential clients if you really want to connect with your market you've got to say what you need to say. Not what you think others want you to say, or what you think you should say, but what you need to say, what you feel called to say.

A couple of weeks ago, after talking with a client about getting the word out about her services, I received an email from her, that said in part:

"These days, there are few things that have me feeling scared. The greatest fear I experience is around our marketing. I often will literally have fear - I break out in a sweat when getting ready to send out a marketing piece or when I make changes on our website. It all ties in with my fears of being misunderstood.

I've spent a lot of time trying to control situations to make sure that everyone is getting what I actually mean and not misinterpreting me and forming false assumptions. Since I can't control anyone, clearly this is a losing proposition! Then the idea of putting a marketing piece out into the ethers (on the internet) where I have absolutely no idea who is looking at it and what they are thinking - well, no wonder my fear goes through the roof!"

No wonder is right. And she's not alone in recognizing that it's scary to put yourself out there like that for all to see, and inevitably, criticize. But here's the thing...holding back or editing yourself in an attempt to please everyone is actually counter-productive. Your message, the message you feel called to share with others, isn't meant to appeal to everyone, because you aren't meant to serve everyone. In the attempt to please everyone your message will actually lose much of the appeal it would have held for those you are meant to serve.

Saying what you need to say, without restraint, will be incredibly appealing and will resonate in a big way with those you're meant to serve. When you say what you need to say, those you're meant to serve will know, without doubt, that they're in the right place, that they've found the right person, or product, or program or blog, to serve their needs.

And those that don't get it? You aren't meant to serve them and saying what you need to say creates a filter so that you don't waste time (yours or the potential client's) venturing into work with a client who isn't ideal for you, and for whom you aren't ideal. They'll move on to someone else. Someone who is better-suited to serve them.

If you've been holding back, censoring yourself, because you're afraid of how others may react, let me say it again...your message, the message you feel called to share with others, isn't meant to appeal to everyone, because you aren't meant to serve everyone.

Focus instead on speaking from your heart as if to a dear friend. Relax and let your passion for your message shine through. It's that passion that will make an almost instant connection with those you're meant to serve. Working with those you're meant to serve is what it's all about...it's energizing, exciting, meaningful, and incredibly fulfilling.

So say what you need to say! Practice right here, right now...in the comments below...what are your thoughts? What holds you back from speaking your mind, from sharing your passion? What's the worst thing that could happen if you began to say what you need to say? And how would saying what you need to say impact you and your biz in a positive way?


Photo originally uploaded by Michelle Brea

The #1 Myth About Living in the Moment

Life is all roses and sunshine and you live a fairy tale existence. Nothing ever goes wrong and you're always happy. That's the #1 myth about living in the moment.

I'm not sure how that myth got started but I suspect it had something to do with the positive thinking/affirmations movement. You know the one...where you're led to believe that if you try hard enough and think enough positive thoughts, that you'll always be happy, never suffering a moment's distress. The problem with attempting to maintain a constant stream of positive thinking is that we're intelligent enough to recognize when we're bullshitting ourselves.

And therein lies the critical distinction between positive thinking/affirmations and living in the moment. One is based on trying to convince yourself that life is all roses and sunshine even when the fact that you're dripping wet from head to toe is evidence that your parade has just been rained on, and one is based on the reality of the moment, on what is rather than on what you'd like reality to be.

It's this myth that living in the moment means always being happy that can leave you feeling as though you must be somehow doing it wrong or it's  something that only a select few "enlightened" spiritual masters ever attain, because, come on, let's get real here...no one is happy ALL the damn time.

The truth is, living in the moment, isn't about being happy all the time, thinking nothing but positive thoughts, or repeating affirmations all day long. It's not about being Mary Poppins. It's about being fully present in each moment with whatever is happening and with whatever you may be feeling, without resisting it, exaggerating it, telling stories about it, getting lost in the past, or projecting into the future.

Living fully, living in the moment, is about embracing all that life has to offer and cherishing the experience...the joys, and the sorrows. The beauty of living in the moment is that the more you're able to stay present to the moment, the more joy and peace you'll experience. Then even when the sorrows arise, as they inevitably will from time to time, you may find, as I have, that it doesn't last as long, and that despite the momentary sorrow, there's a knowing that underlies it, a knowing that you'll be okay, and that the sorrow will pass.

Spam By Any Other Name...Is Still SPAM

Spamming your market is NOT a good way to build your list. While you'd think that wouldn't need to be said, apparently it does.

I'm not talking about the "buy viagra cheap" kind of spam. Those folks are in the business of spamming. It's what they do and with the evolution of spam filters, most of it winds up in your spam folder where you don't have to deal with it. It's an annoyance that we've all accepted isn't likely to stop any time soon.

I'm talking about legitimate businesses that spam. Legitimate businesses that think adding a disclaimer to their spam somehow magically makes it something other than what it is...SPAM.

A case in point...I have received numerous email broadcasts from a business that prior to being spammed by them, I'd never heard of. I'd never visited their website, opted in to any offers, or in any other way given them permission to market to me.

At the end of each of these emails, advertising programs I have absolutely no interest in, is this disclaimer:

You have received this invitation due to specific educational affiliation. We respect your privacy and want to ensure that interested parties are made aware of (Biz name removed) programs and schedules. This is intended to be a one-time announcement. In any event, you should not receive any more announcements unless there is a program next year in your area. To be unlisted from next year's announcement, send a blank e-mail to (email address removed) and write "Unlist" in the subject line.

This is complete crap. I have no "specific educational affiliation" with this business, and if they respected my privacy they would never have spammed me with their announcements in the first place. Clearly it's not intended to be a one-time announcement or I wouldn't be receiving them on average once a week, and never have any of the programs been in my area.

Even more aggravating is the fact that sending an email requesting to be unlisted has not stopped the spam. Emailing the sender directly, after visiting the website to find the contact email, has also not stopped the spam.

Even if these were programs I had some interest in, I don't care to do business with a company that thinks it's okay to spam.

And while I'm on this rant about spam, let me just say that I find it every bit as annoying and aggravating when a Facebook "friend" spams me. Just because I've accepeted your friend invitation doesn't mean I'm giving you permission to add me to your email marketing list.

No matter how desperate you are to build your list, take the time to do it right. Please, please, please...don't resort to spamming others in an attempt to build your list. It will backfire in a BIG way. Pissing off potential clients is no way to build your list or your business. 

10 Ways to Snap Yourself Out of a Funk

You're feeling less than inspired today. You look at your to-do list and discover you don't feel much like doing any of it.

Some days you wake energetic and raring to go. You tackle one item after another, after another, on your to-do list. Each opportunity to cross something off the list giving you a boost of energy and a sense of being productive, of accomplishing something, of forward momentum.

Then there are days when despite your best efforts, you can't seem to get into that zone. Your energy is dragging, your thoughts are unfocused, your mood less than enthusiastic. It's what one of my closest friends and I call a funk. It's a bad case of the blahs that you can't quite seem to shake. Sometimes it's easy to identify what brought it on, other times it seems to come out of nowhere for no particular reason.

Whether you can identify the source of your funk or not, there are steps you can take to attempt to snap yourself out of it:

1. Let the sunshine in. Living and/or working in a dark cave with all the blinds closed is depressing. Open the blinds or drapes and flood the room with sunlight. If it's warm enough to open the windows to let in some fresh air, even better.

2. Crank up the tunes. Put on some uplifting, energizing tunes. Something with a beat that you can hardly resist moving to and then...

3. Get up and move. Exercise, dance around your living room, wrestle with the dog, go for a walk. Anything that gets your blood pumping.

4. Light a candle or diffuse an essential oil with an uplifting scent. Orange and lemon oils are two of my favorites.

5. Get out of the house. Go for a drive, go to a park, go to your local coffee house, have lunch at your favorite neighborhood cafe. Your funk just might be a bad case of cabin fever.

6.Read something inspiring.  Keep some inspirational reading handy for days like these.

7. Talk to a friend. Preferably one who knows you well and knows just how best to help you...with empathetic words, a good joke or a swift kick in the ass. My girlfriend and I do this for one another with the understanding that we are NOT allowed to be in a funk at the same time.

If you've tried all of the above and are still feeling in a funk...

8. Take a nap or meditate. Either can serve as a way to reboot. Ever wish you could crawl back into bed and start over...sometimes that's just what you need to do.

If upon rising, the funk is still with you...

9. Just DO it! Pick something, anything, on your to-do list and Just DO it.

That's not working either?

10. Take a mental health day and go see a good movie, get a pedicure, enjoy a latte, soak in a bubble bath, read a novel, get a massage ...whatever... the idea is to give yourself a break, to pamper yourself, to renew your energy.

And remember...this too shall pass, and tomorrow is a new day.

Photo originally uploaded by fodt

Must-Read Blogs - These Are Too Good To Miss

I've stumbled upon some really wonderful blogs in the last few weeks and I've been meaning to write a Must-Read Blog post for each. I'd intended to schedule them to go out one or two a week for the next few weeks, but they're all so good that I can't decide which to single out first and I don't want to wait to share them.

Blogs are all about creating community and the blogoshpere itself is a community, but these blogs are their own little mini-community. That's a big part of what has drawn me to them...not only the great talent of the bloggers themselves, but the way in which each of these blogs ties into the others through their comments and blogrolls.

They're listed in no particular order. I couldn't list them in order of which I like most because, like the individuals that created them, each is unique and fabulous in its own way.  I can't even list them in order of which I found first, or tell you which led me to which.

I can get a little crazy when discovering new blogs.  I happened across one, clicked the link of someone who had left a comment, clicked on one of that blogger's blogroll links, and around and around I went until I had half a dozen or more tabs open to all of these fabulous blogs.

So without further ado....

Rogue Ink - Tei Lindstrom - This is a brand new blog that is already developing a loyal following and it's no wonder. Tei writes in a witty, irreverent way that is uniquely hers, that makes me laugh aloud and that keeps me coming back each day to see what she'll say next. 

6 Weeks - Brett Legree - Kleenex alert! Brett has a way with words and storytelling that draws you in...to the stories and  to the deeper emotion behind them. A couple of his posts have left me at a loss for words and reaching for the kleenex, and others have left me smiling and laughing.

Life's Little Inspirations - Wendi Kelly - Wendi had me hooked with her post, Slow Cooking Frogs. You gotta love that title! <g> She too, has an amazing talent for weaving a really good story. She inspires while also keeping it real. Something I very much admire.

IttyBiz - Naomi Dunford - Naomi is what my dear friend Andy Wibbels would call "snarky" and he should know...he's the King of Snarky. And, if Andy is the King of Snarky, Naomi is the Queen. Love it! She delivers great advice for those of us running IttyBizzes and more often than not has me laughing my ass off at the same time. Not to mention reading the banter between those that comment on her posts is a bit like eavesdropping on an IM conversation. Kinda hard to resist.

Rock Your Day - Dave Navarro - When you need a tough-love kick in the ass (and I don't care who you are, we all need that once in awhile), Dave's your man. He delivers thought, and more importantly, emotion-provoking posts that will not just inspire, but motivate you to take action.

Men With Pens - James Chartrand & Harrison McLeod - This is one I happened across awhile ago, but that somehow must have gotten lost in the flurry. Thanks to one of the blogs above, I've re-discovered them and the plethora of wisdom they share. After seeing the incredibly awesome custom banner they designed for Tei I just might have to hire them to do one for The Wilder Zone (I know, I know....it's way overdue).

What is also way overdue is my lunch break. I'm starving. May I suggest you take a much-deserved break as well to check out all of these fabulous folks and their blogs? Just be forewarned...they're addictive.

FREE Skin Cancer Screenings

It was a spring day about three years ago when my oldest son came home from an appointment with the dermatologist. He'd had a stubborn rash we suspected was due to an allergy to metal that wasn't responding to the OTC hydro-cortisone creams I'd purchased for him.

"How'd it go?" I asked.

"Fine. He wrote me a scrip, said it should clear up within a week or so," he replied. Then, almost as an after-thought, he went on, "Oh, and he biopsied three moles."

I'd been working when he walked in, and I must admit, I hadn't been giving him my full attention. At that, my head snapped up, and I screeched, "He did WHAT?!" He now had my full, unwavering attention. "What do you mean he biopsied three moles?"

"He said there were three moles on my back that looked suspicious, so he removed them and sent them to be biopsied," he replied calmly.

There were two reasons why this news came as a bit of a surprise to me.  Not only had my son not gone to the dermatologist for a skin cancer screening, but he was barely 18 at the time.  It never even dawned on me that a skin cancer screening might be a good idea for someone so young.  After the initial surprise, I wasn't too concerned for the same reason. I marked my calendar for the day a week or so later, when the doctor had told him he'd have results, and didn't give it too much more thought.

Imagine my surprise when my son got the call from the doctor telling him that although the moles hadn't been actively malignant, they were pre-cancerous. The doctor went on to explain to my son, that had they not been removed they would have grown into melanoma, likely within ten years. I was floored. The thought that, had my son not happened into the dermatologist for something totally unrelated, he could well have wound up with melanoma by the time he was 28, was hard to comprehend.

To say that I am incredibly grateful that he did go to the dermatologist when he did, and incredibly grateful that this particular doctor took the time to screen him while he was there, is an understatement of epic proportions.

Why am I telling you all this? Because May is Skin Cancer Awareness Month and Olay, the American Society for Dermatologic Surgery (ASDS) and Marcia Cross have joined together to invite you and your girlfriends to get a free skin cancer screening.

While the invitation reads "you and your girlfriends," the offer isn't limited (from what I can tell) to women, so spread the word and invite all those you care about, men and women, young or old, to take advantage of the opportunity to get checked. Better safe than sorry. As with any cancer, the importance of early detection can't be stressed strongly enough.

Photo originally uploaded by RcktManIL's

Letting Go of Fear - When Denial is a Good Thing

That's my oldest son, sitting proudly on his brand-spankin' new motorcycle, moments after rolling it off the showroom floor last July. His excitement that day was palpable. I think the last time he'd been that excited was on his 2nd birthday when his dad and I presented him with his first car - a little red (battery operated) corvette.

His excitement that day was equal to my fear. As I snapped that photo that day, I was smiling at his excitement, even as I was internally panicking. I wanted to be happy for him, was happy for him on one level, but equally afraid on another.

The idea of my sweet little boy (okay, yes, I get that he isn't a little boy anymore...that's beside the point) cruising along at 65 mph on the freeway with cars zooming past him...well, suffice it to say, even now, the thought makes me physically shudder. There is no fear quite like that of a parent for the life of their child. If you let it, it can consume you.

I drove my son completely nuts for the first few weeks, with nearly constant reminders to be careful, to remember that motorcycles are virtually invisible to other drivers, to be sure he was ultra-aware of his surroundings, etc. etc. etc. I knew I was driving him crazy. I knew I was being the stereotypical, over-protective mother, but I couldn't quite help myself.

Everyone I know who rides, or has ever ridden, has put their bike down at least once, if not more than once, and the thought of the potentially life-threatening reality of my son doing so at some point, was, to put it mildly, causing me to go a little out of my mind. I joked to him and to others, that I'd never have a peaceful night's sleep again, and I was only half-joking. It didn't take long for me to realize that if I didn't somehow find a way to let go of my fear, I really wouldn't ever have a peaceful night's sleep again.

My son was 20 when he bought that bike. No longer a child, and living on his own. It was out of my control and there was nothing I could do to ensure his safety, or to change his mind about riding a bike. He's 21 now, living in California, and he rides that bike every day. He doesn't own a car, and has no plans to purchase one. He rides that bike, day or night, sun or rain, clear skies or (gasp!) through thick, early morning (as in 3am) fog.

Last week, the rear tire went flat while he was traveling 55+ on a winding stretch of two-lane highway. As he described the tail end of the bike suddenly going wild, the only thing that kept me from having a heart attack right then and there was the fact that his voice on the phone proved he'd survived the scare unharmed.

If I allowed myself to think about, to envision, the possible dire consequences of his passion for riding, I would literally go out of my mind. So, I don't. I simply do not think about it. Most of the time.

Occasionally, the thought that the middle of the night phone call I most dread might come, does unwittingly enter my mind, as it did last night as I was drifting off to sleep. The fear gripping my heart like an icy-cold, iron vise. The thought that I could lose my son so unbearable, that I simply must shut it out again.

It's a form of denial that serves me well. It's the kind of denial that is, indeed, a very good thing. A sanity-saving thing. While denial is not something I would normally recommend as a healthy coping strategy, in instances where the circumstances that elicit fear are completely and totally out of your control, there's nothing much else to do. It serves no purpose, whatsoever, to allow fear to become a constant companion.

Denial then becomes a means by which to let go of the fear. It allows me to look at the photo of my son on his bike, and smile. Smile at how proud he was to have bought it himself. Smile at how excited he was to live something he'd only dreamed of before. Smile to know that riding is just one of the ways in which he lives his life fully. Joyfully. And that, more than anything, is what I've always wanted for my son.

Learning to Roll With the Unpredictability of Life

Yesterday was a beautiful spring day...blue skies and sunshine and a high of 80. Today? It's snowing here in Denver. To the right is the view out the window beside my desk. The leaves on the tree, green again, and flowering. Some of the white you see on the tree are flowers, some snow.  A study in contrast...spring unfolding even as winter holds on for another day.

I could bemoan the cold temps and slushy snow but the weather doesn't much care what I think of it and isn't going to change to suit my mood or desires. So I figure I have two choices...I can spend the day whining and wishing for sunshine, or I can enjoy the beauty and almost magical quality of the snow falling outside my window, to land on the newly green leaves and the early spring blooms of the trees.

If not for tv and radio broadcasting weather predictions, no one would have guessed while enjoying the lovely spring day yesterday, that today would bring snow. Mother Nature is like that, and so is life. I cannot predict, based on today, what tomorrow will bring, and so I try not to spin stories, positive or negative, about events that have yet to happen, and when something occurs that isn't quite as expected or predicted, I try to roll with it, to make the most of it, to see the positive rather than the negative. For me, living fully, means living in the moment, and embracing whatever shows up in my life.

Am I always successful? Nope. Sometimes I catch myself getting stuck in resistance, in wishing things were somehow different. The beauty of life is that it gives us lots of opportunity for practice, and so today I'm snuggled into my favorite comfy spot on my couch with my sweet puppy curled up beside me as I write, and I smile each time I look up to see the big fluffy snowflakes falling gently outside my window.

How To Survive The Plague When You Can't Call In Sick

I've struggled with headaches off and on for years. Just last week I had a migraine that lasted for three days. Anyone who has ever had a migraine knows they can, quite literally, take you down. By the third day with this migraine, on a scale of 1-10 it was a 12. I could barely force myself to sit up for more than five minutes, let alone think straight, or get any real work done.

Whether it's a migraine or the latest viral plague that's making you wish you could crawl into bed and stay there for the duration, when you run your own biz, there's no one to call in sick to, and no one to fill in for you, which means that while the best thing for you may be deep, prolonged sleep, that isn't always possible.  

For those times when it isn't possible, I've found it extremely helpful to recognize my patterns when a headache or illness hits, and to work around them. For example, I usually have an early warning system that lets me know that a headache or illness is creeping up on me. Rather than ignore the signs I take stock of the work that needs to be done in the coming week and I prioritize and knock out as much of the really critical work as I can. Then, if the headache or illness intensifies in the afternoon I can take a much-needed nap, or if it intensifies later in the week, I might even be able to take a day off.

The next time you feel something coming on:

1. Prioritize. Determine which work, or tasks, truly are critical, and which can be put off if necessary.

2. Make the most of the times when you're feeling best and when your energy is highest. This might be early in the morning after a good night's rest, or for an hour or two after the meds kick in. Use that time to knock out as much of the most critical work as you can.

3.  Take more frequent breaks if you need to and squeeze rest in wherever you can. Taking a break when you most need to can actually increase your ability to be productive.

4. Ask for help! I cannot emphasize this one enough. Why, oh why do we so often feel as though we have to be super-human and do it all ourselves no matter what?!

So, while taking the day (or days) off is undeniably the best course of action, that isn't always possible if there's work that simply must get done. For more tips on how to keep going, when as Tei of Rogue Ink put it, you feel like death, check out her post, Plauge-Ridden: Working When You Feel Like Death.

Photo originally uploaded by OpenDemocracy
 

Productivity Secrets for Creative Entrepreneurs - Grab the First Module for FREE

Productivity is a hot topic. The books, courses, and online information on the subject, are too numerous to count. Probably because it's something we all struggle with from time to time. Either we're way too busy and trying to figure out how to be more productive so we can get even more done, or we're stuck in a rut, knowing full well that we need to be getting more done, but can't seem to kick it into gear.

If that's sounding familiar (and I'm betting, unless you're very unusual, that it is) then Productivity Secrets for Creative Entrepreneurs is a home-study course you're going to want to check out. It's not like any other...you won't learn some new and ridiculously complex time-management system. In fact, quite the opposite...it focuses not just on what you do, but how you do it.

As the website states, you'll learn:

• The most important distinction every creative entrepreneur needs to know to quickly assess whether or not you’re spinning your wheels or producing results in areas that really matter.
• The single most important question you can ask yourself (or your staff) when you get stuck or frazzled.
• The start-up secret that will save you at least 4 hours every week.
• How to use a simple little physics principle to INSTANTLY eliminate overwhelm and get back to producing results and having fun!
• The shocking truth about multi-tasking. This is clinically proven, mental health information you need to know.
• How to use “spiritual aerodynamics” to decrease your drag and increase your productivity, effectiveness and life satisfaction.
• How to effectively break the email addiction and create 50% - 80% more FREE TIME within 24 hours.
• The key to re-training your clients and staff so they feel even more taken care of with less human effort on your part.
• Why you need to immediately retire your trigger finger and enjoy the lost art of accumulation.
• The single most important thing you need to STOP doing today if you’re having trouble getting things done.
• Why you need to get on what my friend Tim calls a “low information” diet and why most of us are being swept away in information overload.
• How to quickly determine what’s most important to YOU in your business and life so you can stop being distracted and scattered with meaningless tasks.
• How to re-assess your “To Do” list from a LIVE MORE perspective
• What needs to be on your “Not To Do” list and why you should have one.
• Why long-term goals rarely work for the ultra-creative and highly productive and what to use instead that does.
• An easy fill-in-the-blanks tool to uncover your personal “time suckers.” (Bonus: you can reuse this tool over and over to re-assess your time as your life and business shifts!)
• The single most important thing you need to do BEFORE you outsource or hire anyone. (Miss this step and you’ll pay for it big time in hard earned cash, lost revenue producing time and profit!)
• Reliable outsourcing resources to get others to work for you at a fraction of the cost.
• How to outsource the right way so you don’t waste time or money.
• Why you need to use the “ODG method” to spend your time on what matters most to YOU and stop your big dreams from getting lost in minutiae.

Marie Forleo created this home-study course and because she wants to share this information with as many people as possible, she's giving away (yup, you heard that right...giving away) the first module of the course.

Get instant (and free) access to the first module of Productivity Secrets for Creative Entrepreneurs now and see for yourself. The free audio replay of the tele-seminar, 3 Simple Steps to Radically Transform Your Productivity...Within 24hrs! is also available for free.

Marie is a dear friend and and colleague but this post isn't about simply supporting a friend in making sales, or about earning a fat affiliate commission (because I'm not). This is a product I believe in, offered by a woman I believe in - an entrepreneur who walks her talk and creates information products because she genuinely cares about sharing the information than has been instrumental in helping her to live a life and create a business she's passionate about and loves. I'm posting about it for the same reason...and so I want to share with you anything that I think might better support you in living a life you love, and in building a successful business that supports that life.

So take a peek...if you love it as much as I do, you may decide to purchase the full course, and if it doesn't resonate for you, you won't have risked a thing by giving it a test drive.

 

 

Parenting Teens: The "I'm Crazier Than You" Method

If you've got teens or pre-teens then you know, or will soon know, that they go through a  period of temporary insanity that typically lasts between 3-6 years. You'll know that your teen has entered this period when you begin to wonder to yourself, or aloud to all who will listen, what the pod people did with your child (think  Invasion of the Body Snatchers).

I went through this period with both of my boys, now 17 & 21, and for me it was, hands-down, the most challenging period of parenting. Give me a toddler I can pick up and move out of harms' way or put in time-out, any day, over a rebellious, arrogant, I-know-everything-and-you-can't-make-me teenager.

This period of insanity can manifest in a variety of ways but often includes power struggles over things like what the teen can or cannot do, or wear, where they can or cannot go, and who they can or cannot spend time with. Typically, your views on these issues, and theirs, will be on completely opposite ends of the spectrum.

If you're tired of the arguments, tired of the endless negotiating they'll inevitably attempt, and tired of feeling as though you're banging your head against a solid brick wall, you might want to try something different. Since chaining them to the wall in the garage or basement until they're 18 is not a viable option, what's a parent to do?

Give the "I'm crazier than you" method a try. (Disclaimer: You must have a fabulous sense of humor and be highly creative for this method to work well.)

It goes like this...let's say you're tired of hearing your teen blast their obnoxious music (can you even call it music?!) loud enough to be heard (and felt) all over the house, and your numerous attempts to reason with them to TURN IT DOWN! are having no effect (this is a period of temporary insanity after all) then instead of making yet another plea for peace and quiet, wait for your teen to have a friend or two over and then pop your favorite opera cd, or show tunes, or big band music into the cd player and crank that volume  up. WAY up.  You can bet you'll get your teen's full attention.

Or...let's suppose that your teen son (who actually has a 26 inch waist) is wearing the waist of his size 36 jeans down around his business and putting three inches of his boxers on display for all to see. Rather than having that argument yet again, show up to pick him up from the mall, dressed just like him! When he protests, mortified in front of his friends, tell him that you wanted to look cool too.

Or...if you've caught your teen smoking and she refuses to quit, yelling, "You can't stop me! I'll just smoke at school! (Yes, most high schools if they don't actually have a designated smoking area, do have an area just off campus where the teens go to smoke) show up at the smoking area during lunch wearing your ratty old bathrobe and fuzzy bunny slippers with your hair in rollers. Tell your daughter you wanted to spend some quality time with her and her friends.

The ways in which you can implement the "I'm crazier than you" method are limited only by your imagination and daring.

Awaken to a Beautiful New Day

Each day we have the opportunity to recreate ourselves and our lives, to make new choices, take new steps...and the possibilities of what we can create when we let go of our doubts and our fears, are unlimited.

Awaken is a short movie sure to inspire your day and start your week on a positive note.

Photo originally uploaded by Brian9000