Parenting Teens: The "I'm Crazier Than You" Method

If you've got teens or pre-teens then you know, or will soon know, that they go through a  period of temporary insanity that typically lasts between 3-6 years. You'll know that your teen has entered this period when you begin to wonder to yourself, or aloud to all who will listen, what the pod people did with your child (think  Invasion of the Body Snatchers).

I went through this period with both of my boys, now 17 & 21, and for me it was, hands-down, the most challenging period of parenting. Give me a toddler I can pick up and move out of harms' way or put in time-out, any day, over a rebellious, arrogant, I-know-everything-and-you-can't-make-me teenager.

This period of insanity can manifest in a variety of ways but often includes power struggles over things like what the teen can or cannot do, or wear, where they can or cannot go, and who they can or cannot spend time with. Typically, your views on these issues, and theirs, will be on completely opposite ends of the spectrum.

If you're tired of the arguments, tired of the endless negotiating they'll inevitably attempt, and tired of feeling as though you're banging your head against a solid brick wall, you might want to try something different. Since chaining them to the wall in the garage or basement until they're 18 is not a viable option, what's a parent to do?

Give the "I'm crazier than you" method a try. (Disclaimer: You must have a fabulous sense of humor and be highly creative for this method to work well.)

It goes like this...let's say you're tired of hearing your teen blast their obnoxious music (can you even call it music?!) loud enough to be heard (and felt) all over the house, and your numerous attempts to reason with them to TURN IT DOWN! are having no effect (this is a period of temporary insanity after all) then instead of making yet another plea for peace and quiet, wait for your teen to have a friend or two over and then pop your favorite opera cd, or show tunes, or big band music into the cd player and crank that volume  up. WAY up.  You can bet you'll get your teen's full attention.

Or...let's suppose that your teen son (who actually has a 26 inch waist) is wearing the waist of his size 36 jeans down around his business and putting three inches of his boxers on display for all to see. Rather than having that argument yet again, show up to pick him up from the mall, dressed just like him! When he protests, mortified in front of his friends, tell him that you wanted to look cool too.

Or...if you've caught your teen smoking and she refuses to quit, yelling, "You can't stop me! I'll just smoke at school! (Yes, most high schools if they don't actually have a designated smoking area, do have an area just off campus where the teens go to smoke) show up at the smoking area during lunch wearing your ratty old bathrobe and fuzzy bunny slippers with your hair in rollers. Tell your daughter you wanted to spend some quality time with her and her friends.

The ways in which you can implement the "I'm crazier than you" method are limited only by your imagination and daring.

Comments

[Denise]

LOL, love it! I'm going to have to blog about this article.

[Lisa Wilder]

Hi Denise!

Thanks for the link.

This is indeed, one of those desperate-times-call-for-desperate measures kind of methods. It's not appropriate for every situation, but can be highly effective in some.

I just may post a part 2 to go deeper into this.

Warmly,
Lisa

[Kathy]

That's awesome! I've used the music one before, blasting my classical at the early hour of 10:00am on a Saturday morning while cleaning. Gonna have to try the low worn pants and see how my sweet sixteen year old gangster-wannabe girl likes that one. Thanks!

[Lisa Wilder]

LOL! I'm quite sure she won't like it all, Kathy! But then that's the point isn't it?

The beauty of this method is that it leaves the teen wondering what the h*ll mom or dad will do next.

I hope you'll let us know how it goes and what reaction you get.

[Verna Wilder]

I wish I had tried some of these on you!
Love,
Mom

[Bonnie]

Lisa,

Still laughing here but wishing that this post was around 17 years ago when I had a rebellious teen in the house.

As it is... the teen is now a mother herself and hitting 30 this month -- but I do have 3 grandsons so this information could still come in handy!

I WISH...

It sounds like a FUN time for me if it happens to be necessary! LOL

All good things,
Bonnie