The #1 Myth About Living in the Moment

Life is all roses and sunshine and you live a fairy tale existence. Nothing ever goes wrong and you're always happy. That's the #1 myth about living in the moment.

I'm not sure how that myth got started but I suspect it had something to do with the positive thinking/affirmations movement. You know the one...where you're led to believe that if you try hard enough and think enough positive thoughts, that you'll always be happy, never suffering a moment's distress. The problem with attempting to maintain a constant stream of positive thinking is that we're intelligent enough to recognize when we're bullshitting ourselves.

And therein lies the critical distinction between positive thinking/affirmations and living in the moment. One is based on trying to convince yourself that life is all roses and sunshine even when the fact that you're dripping wet from head to toe is evidence that your parade has just been rained on, and one is based on the reality of the moment, on what is rather than on what you'd like reality to be.

It's this myth that living in the moment means always being happy that can leave you feeling as though you must be somehow doing it wrong or it's  something that only a select few "enlightened" spiritual masters ever attain, because, come on, let's get real here...no one is happy ALL the damn time.

The truth is, living in the moment, isn't about being happy all the time, thinking nothing but positive thoughts, or repeating affirmations all day long. It's not about being Mary Poppins. It's about being fully present in each moment with whatever is happening and with whatever you may be feeling, without resisting it, exaggerating it, telling stories about it, getting lost in the past, or projecting into the future.

Living fully, living in the moment, is about embracing all that life has to offer and cherishing the experience...the joys, and the sorrows. The beauty of living in the moment is that the more you're able to stay present to the moment, the more joy and peace you'll experience. Then even when the sorrows arise, as they inevitably will from time to time, you may find, as I have, that it doesn't last as long, and that despite the momentary sorrow, there's a knowing that underlies it, a knowing that you'll be okay, and that the sorrow will pass.

Comments

[Kyle King]

Well said.

I've coined a phrase to explain this phenomenon of people being willing to allow authentic feelings, or responses to the circumstances they find themselves in being met with the commentary of the importance of being joyful or some other positive emotion, when it's untrue...

Spiritual Tyranny.

It's better to work at slowly making the effort to feel just a little bit better, and trust that much better feelings will emerge organically with that effort.

Also, being honest with ourselves about where we are is important - no critical. It offers room for improvement merely by the acknowledgment of the feelings that aren't perky and the impetus to improve.

Again, I appreciate what you've written here.

[Lisa Wilder]

@Kyle - Thanks for taking the time to post such a thoughtful comment, Kyle.

My experience has been that when I allow myself to feel whatever I'm feeling in the moment, no real effort is required to feel better...it happens of its own accord.

For example...after years of attempting to resist feelings like sadness, that we all tend to prefer not to experience, I realized that I had two choices...I could try to resist it and spend days feeling down and choking back tears, or I could let myself have a good cry.

While it may sound counter-intuitive, resisting the emotion kept me stuck in it. It was allowing myself to have a good cry that allowed me to move through it more quickly and get back to a place of feeling more peaceful and centered.

Oh, and your phrase "spiritual tyranny"...love it. Priceless. :)

[Dorian aka coffeesister]

There's a catharsis inherent to authentic emotions & reactions. It's by experiencing our feelings that we process them; the good ones become a part of our being while the negative ones are purged, making more room for more good.. Not only do we miss out on many a moment if we're busy fighting off negative (or simply realistic) feelings, each new depth we explore opens up new heights to us as well. ^_^

I hope this truth starts making the rounds as the myth needs debunking! I was instantly reminded of an exchange in the comments of my hunny's blog: http://rhodester.net/2008/01/12/clackityclack.aspx#comment-764956

(|_|*cheers*|_|)
“Use your [mental] health, even to the point of wearing it out. That is what it is for. Spend all you have before you die; do not outlive yourself.” -- George Bernard Shaw [slightly edited ~_^]

[Lisa Wilder]

@Dorian - You said, "each new depth we explore opens up new heights to us as well." Yes, yes, YES! That is so true.

In the process of attempting to suppress what we think of as "negative" emotions, we suppress the positive ones as well, essentially numbing ourselves.

I lived that way for many years in my youth, and while tears were a rare occurrence, so was joy.

These days I embrace the full range of emotion and the joys far outweigh the sorrows.

Thanks so much for taking the time to comment and for sharing your "hunny's" post/comments. :)