Mind Games

In the midst of packing to move, I'm reminded once again of just how much stuff we accumulate. I'm pretty good about regularly clearing out clutter and yet....in the past two weeks I've thrown out/donated/given away at least as much stuff as I've packed, if not more.

Having to choose which stuff is worth the time and energy and effort to pack up and take with you, puts the idea of clearing clutter into a slightly different perspective. I'm certainly being more discerning in my choices. Do I really need to lug around that steam cleaner that doesn't work but that I keep telling myself I'll get repaired someday?

The answer of course, is no. But...as soon as my mind reaches that logical conclusion, it jumps to, "But I might need it someday...it might come in handy" or "But it's worth $300! I can't just give it away." Really?! Funny how our minds rationalize.

The truth is...it's not worth $300 sitting broken in my basement and how much stuff do I really want to lug around just in case it might come in handy someday? The truth is...I'm much more likely to never miss it (seeing as how I haven't used it in more than two years) than I am to someday regret having let it go.

That little mind game is nothing compared to the ones that start up in my head when I contemplate letting go of something that my mind has deemed emotionally significant. Like the plastic kitchen spoon with the groove in it from the time I left it propped on the edge of a hot pan.

Let me set the scene for you...I'm in the kitchen packing the drawer full of utensils. Glenn walks in and sits down at the table behind me. I throw the burnt plastic spoon into the box on the floor.

Glenn: You're not really going to keep that are you?

Me: Well...yeah...Devan gave me that spoon when he moved to CA.

Glenn (looking at me like I imagine he might look at a half-wiited child): Seriously?! Honey...

Me (stammering): But...well...um....but Devan gave me that spoon.

Glenn (barely suppressing a grin): And you want to keep the $3.00 spoon that even he didn't want to keep when he moved?!

Me (looking sheepish and now barely suppressing a grin of my own): Well....

At that point the absurdity of my rationalizations hit me, we both burst out laughing, and I threw the damn spoon away. 

I'm an intelligent woman and yet my mind still managed to convince me that I needed to keep an old spoon because my son had given it to me and it made me think of him whenever I pulled out of the drawer to use it. Wow...as if I need a $3.00 plastic spoon to remind me of my son. How ludicrous is that?!

We allow our minds to play these games with us ALL the time, but we don't need to hang onto to useless clutter for sentimental reasons or because they used to be valuable or because they might come in handy "someday."

And I have to admit, getting rid of so much baggage (both the physical and the emotional baggage that goes along with it) has felt great! I feel lighter with each bag of crap I throw out, with each pile of stuff I donate, with each item I give away. It's freeing not to be so tied down by things.

Our minds fear the unknown and cling desperately to anything and everything that reminds of us the past or that might stave off some unknown crisis or need in the imagined future. Our minds find comfort in holding onto things, in keeping things the same.

But when you can do an end-run around those mind games, change can be exciting. Letting go of the old to make room for the new (whether that's new things or new experiences) can be exciting.

My things and this old house, have been good to me, and...now it's time to move on...to a new home, a new town, and new experiences...a fresh start...a new adventure. It's exciting, enlivening, energizing.

I can't avoid taking my mind and its fears and insecurities along with me...but I don't have to listen to them, act on them, or be controlled by them. Nor do you.

In what ways is your mind playing games with you? What stuff (physical, mental or emotional) are you holding onto? How might it be holding you back or keeping you stuck? And how might it feel or energize you to just finally let it go? What new experiences might letting it go invite into your life? Clear out the crap and see for yourself what new possibilities it opens for you.

Comments

[Daniela]

Lisa, I love your blog and well done for emotionally detaching yourself from the spoon and chucking it in the bin ;-))) You just inspired me to sort out my drawers and chuck away my clothes too. Lots of love and good luck again with the move. xx

[waiter]

i gennerally agree with your position, however Itend to disagree this time. Its ok i will continue to visit and I sure we will agree agian.

[Barb Elgin, MSW, LCSW]

Thank you for this reminder, Lisa. You told it too in such a funny way.

[Lisa Wilder]

Hey Daniela...so glad it inspired you to sort out your drawers...it feels good to eliminate the clutter doesn't it?

Waiter...I'm not sure which part you disagree with but I'd love to hear more.

Barb...thanks so much for stopping by. I didn't set out to try to make it funny, but often, when I catch myself in situations like this I find it amusing and I think my own amusement with the ways my mind plays games with me, naturally comes through in my writing.

[Sabrina Weyeneth]

Love this piece. I've gone through similar processes when I've moved. Since I've been living more or less out of a suitcase (or actually two suitcases) for the past 4 months I've been amazed by how little "stuff" we actually need!

[Lisa Wilder]

Hi Sabrina! Thanks so much for taking the time to stop by and to comment.

It's amazing to discover how little stuff we really need isn't it? I have to say, now two months after the move, that I haven't missed any of the stuff I got rid of as I was packing. And I sure don't miss all the clutter that needed dusting/cleaning to stay looking nice. LOL...

[Shivani]

Hi Lisa,

Very strange thing - I left you a comment to this post last week but it doesn't seem to have appeared.
I was saying how I loved your blog and I'm a total believer of decluttering.
Your blog made me laugh out loud! You do have a nack for comic timing whilst delivering powerful messages!

I had left a message saying timing was funny as I had planned to do a declutter at the weekend. It never happened so maybe that's why my post didn't save! Plan to declutter THIS weekend now :)
Great article!
Thank you

[Linda Eaves]

Oh I'd seen this blog entry but just made time to read it. How timely!!! My guy and I are in the midst of a big purge with the goal of moving in together.
Here's a story for you: Chris just phoned to let me know he got an offer on his classic "project" truck. The offer is for twice what he put into it, and the money would come in handy for us right now. But oh how he loves that truck, I could hear the emotion in his voice. He's afraid that there might not be another one like it. For him it's about the thrill of the acquisition. He loves finding treasures on Ebay and Craig's List - which is where he found it. I told him to think about it and see how he feels. I will keep you posted!