The Wilder Zone

Discover How Your Sex Life Affects the Success of Your Business

Yup, you heard me, your sex life. If you're wondering what on earth that has to do with the success of your biz, then join Marie Forleo and I on March 11th for a free tele-seminar, "The 8 Biggest Mistakes Even Smart Women Make in Business, & How to Avoid Them."

Whether you're a passionate entrepreneurial woman (or man) who has been in biz for awhile and you aren't quite seeing the results you'd like to, or you're just starting out and want to avoid making the same mistakes we did, if you love what you do and want to make a difference in the world while growing your biz, this is a call you won't want to miss.You'll learn just how your sex life affects the success of your biz, and so much more.

Marie and I LOVE the work we do together and we always have so much fun on these calls. We promise...this won't be one of those dry bore-you-to-tears tele-seminars that you sit through in the hopes of gleaning something worthwhile only to discover it's nothing more than hype.

This will be a call packed with valuable info you'll be able to put to use in your biz immediately, delivered in a candid, but irreverent way that will be both fun and inspiring. Join us live if you can, and if you can't make the call live, register anyway and we'll shoot you the recorded mp3 after the call.

Turn Your "Woe-is-Me" Story into Your "Why" Story

If you really want to transform your life and your biz you've got to drop your "woe-is-me" story. You know the one..the one that sounds like the latest episode of some dramatic soap opera. The one in which you cast yourself in the role of victim to all of the terrible injustices that have been heaped upon you over the years. The one you use to explain why your life isn't working and never will. The one you use as an excuse for why you can't do or be more. The one you use as an out so you don't even have to try.

There are as many variations of the "woe-is-me" story as there are people on the planet. Each is unique in the details, but alike in that they hold us back from being and expressing more fully who we really are. Some common themes:

• I'm miserable and unhappy because my parents abused me when I was a child.
• I can't have a healthy, happy relationship because my father abandoned me, my husband cheated on me, my mother was an alcoholic, my parents fought all the time, etc...
• I can't grow my business right now because my children make too many demands on my time.
• I can't be successful because I never had the opportunity to go to college.

And of course, the list could go on and on...ad nauseum. No doubt you've perfected the telling of your "woe-is-me" story as if it were a fine art. It's in our nature to be quite gifted at story-telling, and it's easy to continue spinning the same story over and over again, year after year.

The challenge lies not in spinning the "woe-is-me" story, but in letting it go, in refusing to any longer allow it to shape who you are and what you're capable of. While your story (your past) has certainly contributed to who you are, it does not define you, nor does it have to shape your future.

Now we come to the paradox...

The very story that is critical to let go of may hold the essence of the story that will transform your life and your biz. Flip that "woe-is-me" story around to craft a compelling "why" story and you've discovered the key to re-igniting your passion, inspiring others and to attracting those you're meant to serve. For entrepreneurs the telling of your story from a different perspective is the key to inspiring clients to engage your services, buy your products, subscribe to your blogs or ezines, and to inspiring and exciting your team to be and do their best.

Every entrepreneur I've ever worked with has had a personal story about why they do what they do, and how they came to feel such a strong desire to make a difference in the lives of others. Often times, though it's this very story that drives them to go into biz for themselves, they aren't consciously aware of it and they've never thought to attempt to articulate it.

Becoming aware of your reason for doing what you do and taking the time to articulate it to others, is one of the most powerful ways to transform your life and your biz. Not only will it renew your passion for the work that you do but it will inspire others and it will resonate emotionally with those you're meant to serve.

A powerful "why" story will tell those you're meant to serve why you do what you do, that they're in the right place, that they've found the right person to help them, that you've been where they are, that if you can do it, so can they.

So what is the difference between a "woe-is-me" story and a "why" story?

They often have quite a lot in common. The difference lies not so much in the content of the story but in the way you spin it.

The "woe-is-me" story is spun with as much drama as possible, and it's focus is on the past and all of the ways in which your past prevents you from being or doing more with your life. The "why" story, although it has it's foundation in the past, is focused on how that same past has inspired you to be and do more and to make a difference in the lives of others.

A Personal Example

My "woe-is-me" story went something like this:

Poor me. My father abused me as a child and I had a bad marriage. I'll never be good enough. No one will ever really love me. I'll never be happy. I'll never have a good career or be successful because I'm too busy taking care of a husband and two kids. I'll never be happy or successful because of the problems with my health. I can't do this, I can't do that, because, because, because....don't you feel terribly sorry for me?

Ugh! As you can plainly see the only thing your "woe-is-me" story is likely to do is engender pity or sympathy for those unlucky enough to be within earshot of your whining.

Now for my "why" story:

Having been abused as a child and in an emotionally abusive marriage for many years, I put on a facade for so long that I lost sight of who I was, and of what I wanted in my life. I coasted through life on auto-pilot, numb not only to the pain I'd been feeling, but to happiness and joy as well. I was barely surviving, let alone really living.

Then one day I woke up. I began learning to be more present rather than numbing out. To feel whatever I was feeling, rather than trying to avoid emotion, and I began to get re-acquainted with myself, my emotions and my desires. I began living more fully, I let go of my "woe-is-me" story and all of the reasons it prevented me from being and doing more, and my life transformed in ways I'd never known to even dream of...

I am happier, more fulfilled, and more passionate about my life than I ever knew it was possible to be. My life has gone from something I must "deal" with and "get through," to something I cherish every moment of. It's that very transformation in my own life that drives me to want to help others to transform their lives. It's why I do what I do...because I want others to experience the joy of living life fully, of going after their dreams, of being passionate about life and all it has to offer. I want others to experience the magic I have.

I think you'll agree that my "why" story is much more compelling and inspiring than my "woe-is-me" story could ever be. 

Transforming your "woe-is-me" story into your "why" story

Drop the drama of your "woe-is-me" story and look at how you can transform it into an inspiring story of why you do what you do. Ask yourself:

• What about your past experience inspired you to go into business to serve others?
• What past experiences make you uniquely qualified to serve others?
• What difference do you want to make in the world and for others?

Don't censor yourself in an attempt to say what you think others want you to say, or to say what you think you "should" say. Speak boldly and authentically from your heart. It's that genuine expression of who you are and why you do what you do that will speak to, and resonate with, those you're meant to serve, and that has the power to transform your life and your biz.

Facebook - The Ultimate in Online Networking?

World Connection in Blue - Originally uploaded by meyshanworld

I've been a bit slow to jump on the social media bandwagon and it was only last week that I finally joined Facebook. When I first started hearing all the hype about social media I wasn't sure if it was simply a fun and easy way to connect with friends or if, as I was hearing,  it might not also be the ultimate in online networking for entrepreneurs.

I was reluctant to join because I feared it would require more time than I have and be more work than I want to undertake for something I wasn't sure would deliver any significant benefits. Even if it delivered some benefits I was concerned it would prove to be a distraction more than anything else.

I've been pleasantly surprised to discover that while it might be a distraction of sorts, it's providing the means to re-connect with friends, colleagues, and previous clients that I've been out of touch with for quite some time and I'm loving it. After only a few days on Facebook I'm discovering that there are significant benefits, just a few of which are:

1. Facebook is proving to be a very effective way to broaden my network of service providers to refer others to. As a coach/consultant and blogger I like to be able to connect my clients, colleagues, and readers with other service professionals who can be of help to them in their lives and their businesses.  A case in point...one of the first people to befriend me on Facebook was Howell Burnell. I'd lost touch with him a year or two ago and couldn't have been more delighted to not only re-connect but to be reminded of his creative genius with website branding, copywriting and design...something my clients and colleagues are often looking for, and it felt great to be able to refer readers to him in a yesterday's post.

2. Facebook can serve as the virtual water cooler that those of us that work from home often miss. Even brief online interactions with Facebook friends gives me a greater sense of connection and re-energizes me. As an entrepreneur who works from home there are days when I realize the only contact I've had  with other living beings since Glenn left for work, are with my sweet puppy and my cat. Working solo from home can be very isolating.

3. It's a great way to not only re-connect with others, but to make new connections through mutual Facebook friends, or through membership in a variety of groups. I've never been a big fan of traditional, in-person networking events where the main goal seems to be to traverse the room in a race to collect as many business cards as possible, and while some will claim that online networking will never be as effective as in-person connections, I'd beg to differ. Facebook can be used to make genuine connections with others.

I'm still fumbling around on Facebook. There's a lot to explore and I've only just begun. So if you've been on Facebook for awhile and know your way around well, I'd love to hear about any tips or tricks that might make my little adventure easier. What are your favorite aspects of Facebook? What are the pros and cons as you see them?

I'm hoping Facebook will also allow me to get to know my readers better, so if you're on Facebook I'd love it if you'd add me as a friend. If you're not on Facebook but you're curious about it, I'd love to have you along for the ride, and it takes only moments to join.

Must-Read Blog: Sproutwire

You know those moments where you thunk yourself upside the head and wonder, "Why didn't I think of that?!" Well, I had one of those moments when I first saw Sproutwire. Sproutwire is the brilliant brain child of Shane Pearlman & Peter Chester. It's a blog that offers, as they put it, "a daily dose of the best small business articles that the internet has to offer." 

Oh, if only I'd thought of that myself. <g> It's currently in beta but I expect it's going to be very popular and successful. Take a few moments to check it out for yourself, and if you come across, or have written, a great post let Sproutwire know by sending them an email. If they use the article they'll give you a mention and link to your site or blog.

Death of a Business - The Red-Flag You Can't Afford to Ignore

When was the last time you felt uncomfortable? When was the last time you doubted your ability to do something necessary for the growth of your business? When was the last time you learned or tried something new? When was the last time you took a risk despite the mere thought of doing so instilling panic? When was the last time you made a bold move that left you thinking, "Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God! What have I just done?!" And left you feeling a wild mix of anxiety and excitement?

If you can't remember the last time you felt or did any of the above....then in the words of the Lost in Space robot to Will Robinson, "Danger! Danger!" The life of your business is at dire risk. Swift and immediate action is called for if you're to avert the impending danger.

Becoming too comfortable, becoming complacent is a sure-fire recipe for sucking the life out of your business. It's the red-flag you can't afford to ignore. As a biz owner, your comfort zone is also your danger zone.  If you're not stretching yourself, expanding your knowledge and your expertise, if you're not trying new things and taking risks, your business will very quickly become stagnant.  If you think you've done all you needed to, if you think you've "arrived" and need do nothing more, if you think you can simply sit back and watch your biz grow you're in for a rude awakening.

In our ever-changing world, doing the same old thing day in and day out simply because it's more comfortable just doesn't work. No one likes feeling uncomfortable, uncertain, insecure, but if you want to continue to grow your business you have to get comfortable with the discomfort. You still don't have to like it, but you do have to accept that it's a necessity. Let me assure you, it can be done and with practice it does become easier.

I named this blog The Wilder Zone for a reason, and while it might come as a surprise, that Wilder is my last name was the least of it. I named it The Wilder Zone because that's the most apt description for where you find yourself when you're striving to build a wildly successful business doing what you love.

The one constant in life is change. You, your life, and the world around you are constantly changing and growing. Your business is an extension and expression of who you are, of your passion, of what is meaningful to you on a deep level.

As a service professional your business is centered around meeting the needs and desires of your market. A market made up of people who are also constantly growing and changing and whose needs and desires are constantly changing as they do.

For your business to not only survive but become as wildly successful as you'd like it to be, you must, despite the discomfort that often accompanies change, be willing not only to accept and roll with the changes, but to actively seek to be the source of the change and growth.

 

Manage Your Energy - Give Yourself a Break

It's that time of day, mid-afternoon, when my energy often hits a low point and it becomes a struggle to stay focused or to think clearly.  Writing is often a challenge at this time of day, so forgive me if I'm not quite as articulate. I'm blogging now precisely because this lull in my energy and concentration has reminded me of the importance of managing our energy if we want to increase our productivity while filling our days and our work with ease rather than struggle.

I still sometimes resist this afternoon sluggishness in an attempt to push through it, to keep working, to force myself to get more done, but it's a struggle. The irony, as I discovered long ago, is that often my productivity drops to such a low at this time of day that I'm functioning at (maybe) 25% of capacity. This prompted the realization that it was precisely in those moments when I least thought I could afford to take a break, that I most needed to do just that. And, that taking a much needed break was the most logical thing to do. That despite however busy I might be, I'd be more productive, not less, if I took a break. Why? Because when I stop resisting the need for a break and allow myself to take one, when I return to my work, I'm once again functioning at at my peak level of performance, and doing it with ease.

Let's take a closer look at this for all of you who are reading this skeptically and thinking "Is she nuts?! I don't have time for that!" If your energy is dragging and you're functioning at 25% and you push through it, even if you work for another 4 hours you're only accomplishing what you'd have accomplished in a single hour had you been functioning at your peak.  On the other hand, if instead of resisting, you take that break for an hour and return to work refreshed and rarin' to go for the next three hours, you're accomplishing three times as much as if you'd forced yourself to keep going without a break.

How long a break you need to take and what you do with that time, will be very individual. You might need only twenty minutes to renew your energy, you might need an hour. You might need a 20 minute power nap, to meditate for 30 minutes or to take an hour long walk. Do whatever works for you to renew your energy. Whatever it is, do yourself (and your business) a favor and give yourself a break. Speaking of which...it's time for me to do just that.

Do You Have an Emergency Back-up Plan for Your Business?

The phone was ringing. Instinctively I was rolling out of bed in response before I was even fully awake. As I did so my eyes fell on the glowing red numbers on the bedside clock - 2:56am. I ran for the phone. 3am phone calls are never good news. As I grabbed the phone from the table where I'd left it the night before the "missed call" message flashed onto the screen. I flipped the phone open to see that the call had come from my friend, the mother of my 17 year old son's best friend. "Shit, shit, shit...." I began chanting as I dialed her number. No answer. My panic rising, I hit redial. Still no answer. "Shit, shit, shit..." I'm mumbling under my breath now trying to keep the panic at bay. I hit redial again and she finally answers.

"What's going on?" I asked, skipping the niceties altogether. "You mean you don't know?" she asked. "Know WHAT?!" the rising panic clear in my voice now. "The boys were in a bad accident," she replied.  "The car was totaled." 

"OhmyGodohmyGodohmyGod!" My panic was full blown now. My heart dropped into my stomach, chills ran down my spine and my throat clenched closed as all the air was seemingly sucked out of the room in that instant. For a moment I couldn't breathe, I couldn't think. Then one word ran through my mind - breathe - as I realized I was gasping for breath, and the mother-instinct that has been fine-tuned over 20 years of raising kids kicked in and the panic receded enough for me to speak. "Are they okay? Where are they?" My voice still sounded a bit shrill to my own ears and the dread in my voice was echoed in hers as she replied, "I don't know. They're being taken to St. Anthony's."

"I'll meet you there," I replied. I was already stepping into my jeans and looking frantically for my shoes. Two minutes later I was in the car, trying to maintain some semblance of calm so that I could drive. "Breathe, breathe, just breathe," I thought. It was taking every ounce of will I had to prevent any other thoughts from running through my mind. My concentration slipped for a moment as I prayed, "Please God, please God, let them be okay. Please let them be okay." I pulled my attention back to my breathing as I realized that silent plea was increasing my sense of panic.

Needless to say, as I rushed to the hospital ER, my business was the furthest thing from my mind and I didn't stop before I left the house to grab the phone number for the clients with whom I had a call scheduled for later that morning.

That was a week ago. Thankfully, my son and his friend were released from the hospital several hours later with only minor injuries and my clients were the essence of understanding about the missed call.

However this leads me to the question in the title of this post - do you have an emergency back-up plan for your business should you ever receive one of those dreaded 3am phone calls? If an unexpected emergency arises that requires your undivided time and attention do you have a plan that will allow someone else to take care of things for you?

While we all hope we'll never receive one of those calls, it's important to plan for the possibility by creating an emergency back-up plan. If you don't already have one there's no better time than now to create one. If you haven't already done so, document the most critical aspects of your business. Create master lists of: 

• Contact info for your clients and for your team if you have one.
• Passwords to any business tools you use regularly such as business email, an online calendar, project management system, auto-responder system, etc.
• Account numbers and passwords for any business accounts.
• Accounts payable/receivable and any associated account numbers and due dates.
• Critical tasks and any details needed to accomplish them, including a schedule for when they need to be accomplished.
• Anything else critical to your particular business.

These lists and an operating manual if you have one (if you don't have an op manual you should, but that's another post), become your emergency back-up plan.

The next and final step is to give this emergency back-up plan to a trusted team member, colleague or friend so that in the event of an emergency you're able to make a single phone call and they can implement it for you.

Creating an emergency back-up plan insures that if you ever do find yourself or a loved one in an emergency situation you have the peace of mind of knowing that at a minimum, the most basic and critical aspects of your business are being taken care of.

   

Choose Your Domain Name VERY Carefully

I just happened across a fabulous post titled, "Does Your Domain Name Suck?" by Wendy Piersall on her eMOMS AT HOME blog. I'm still laughing. It's hysterical and will make you wonder what on earth some of these folks could have been thinking when they chose their domain names. If you're in the process of choosing a domain name you've got to read this post. Even if you're not...take a moment to read it anyway. I can't think of a better way to wrap up your Monday than with a good laugh.

Two Easy Steps to Ensure You Receive Great Testimonials

You know you're providing exceptional value to your clients. Your clients know it. But do your potential clients know it? Sure, you can tell them yourself, but it's much more powerful to let your clients tell them through testimonials.

Not all testimonials are equal however, so how do you insure that the testimonials you receive are great? How do you ensure they're as powerfully effective as they can possibly be?

1. Ask for testimonials! This is the critical first step that many overlook. While you may receive a few unsolicited testimonials the fact of the matter is even your greatest fans may not think to send one. They may rant and rave about how fantastic you are to their family, friends and colleagues, and that's wonderful. Word of mouth is priceless, but it may never occur to them to put it in writing and send it your way. So the next time a client expresses how thrilled they are with your services or products, how much they've benefited from them, thank them and then ask if they'd take a moment to write a testimonial.
2. Make it easy - Once your clients have said yes to your request for a testimonial (and they will), make it as easy as possible for them to write not just any old testimonial but a great testimonial. Not all testimonials are equal. "I love Sue! She's the best!" is quite the compliment and may be flattering to your ego, but it's not nearly as powerful a testimonial as it could be. It doesn't really tell your potential clients what they need to know. To ensure your clients write a testimonial that will knock the socks off your potential clients, share the following Guidelines for Writing a Great Testimonial with your clients.

Guidelines for Writing a Great Testimonial

Start with a sentence about what most impressed you. Example: Sue's extensive accounting knowledge and her down-to-earth way of working with clients made a once stressful aspect of my business so much easier.

Share a sentence or two about where you were before engaging the services of, or buying the product from, the person for whom you're writing the testimonial. Example: Before hiring Sue to handle my accounting and taxes I spent untold hours frustrated, stressed, and anxious trying to do it all myself.

Follow with a few sentences about where you are now, the deeper benefits you've received, and where you see yourself in the future as a result. Example: Now I turn it all over to her knowing it will be handled expertly. Not only has she eliminated the stress and saved me all the hours I used to spend struggling to do it myself, but her expertise has saved me thousands of dollars. Going forward I have no doubt that my business will see an even greater increase in profits as a result of working with Sue.

Finish with a strong call to action. Example: Do yourself and your business a huge favor - don't wait another moment to pick up the phone and call Sue.

It really is that simple. Implement these two steps and you'll not only increase the number of testimonials you receive, but you'll ensure they're great testimonials that convey to your potential clients the exceptional value they too can receive as a result of your services or products.

Honor Your Commitments to Yourself

Over on Coachamatic last week I posted about the difference, as I see it, between negative thinking and proactive planning. While it's important to keep a positive focus when setting intentions for what you intend to achieve, it's also important to take a good look at any potential challenges that might arise along the way.

Including looking at the ways in which you might get in your own way. My observation over the years, of myself and others, is that the cliche about being our own worst enemy became a cliche for a reason. It's all too often all too true. How often do you find you've set an intention to achieve something and then days or weeks pass and you realize you're no closer to actually achieving that intention than you were when you set it?

What I've found is that we're so much better at honoring our commitments to others than we are at honoring our commitments to ourselves. Have you ever noticed that when you commit to doing something for someone else you dive right in, take care of business and get it knocked out asap? And yet...when you make a commitment to doing something for yourself or your business that you put it on your to-do list that day, and then bump it to your to-do list for the next day, and the next, and the next, and the next....

If that little scenario is sounding familiar, you've probably at one time or another, wondered, "What is up with that?!" You are not alone. It's something I think we all do at least some of the time. We, especially women, are societally conditioned to put the needs of others ahead of our own. As a group, those of us who serve others for a living, are also especially prone to this tendency. While our commitment to others is admirable, we deserve the same level of commitment  to ourselves.

So what to do? The next time you set an intention to do or achieve something important to you try taking the following four steps:

1. Don't just put it on your to-do list. Take action. Take some small step immediately to get the ball rolling.
2. Set a date/time for completion. When we make commitments to others there's usually a time component at play, as they'll need it done by certain date or time. Often it's the urgency this time component creates which helps to keep us moving forward.
3. Schedule the time for it rather than letting it languish on your to-do list indefinitely. This may seem obvious but the effectiveness of this step is frequently underated or overlooked entirely.
4. Honor your commitment to yourself just as you would if it were an appointment with someone else. You wouldn't dream of not showing for an appointment with someone else so don't be a no-show for your appointments with yourself.

If the above steps aren't enough to get you to honor the commitment, if you know yourself well enough to know that you'll let yourself off the hook too easily, then put some accountability in place for yourself. Hire a coach (shameless self-promotion, I know <g>) or ask a friend or associate to hold you accountable, letting them know in advance, what you need from them. It may be as simple as telling that person what you intend to do and by when, and then commiting to emailing or phoning them to let them know you've done as you said you would.

With a little proactive planning and practice, honoring the commitments you make to yourself just as you would the commitments made to others, becomes easier and easier to do and you'll find yourself achieving more and more of the intentions you've set for yourself.