The Wilder Zone

Are You Living an Extraordinary Life?

On the surface my life is quite ordinary. I'm not a billionaire. I don't own three gargantuan homes, a fleet of ridiculously expensive cars or a private jet. I don't have a personal chef, a housekeeper or a butler. I don't have a giant walk-in closet with 3,000 pair of designer shoes, an expensive evening gown for every day of the year or a jewelry box full of diamonds. And I'm not sitting on the beach on a tropical island sipping a margarita as I write this. (Although I'm working on that last part...how cool would that be?!)

Despite not having all those things, I live an extraordinary life. I live a life that for most of my life I never even dared to dream of. More than that...that I didn't even know was possible. It was so far out of my experience that I couldn't conceive of living the life I do now.

“Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take,
but by the moments that take our breath away.” - anonymous

You see, I'm not a materialistic person and I don't measure my life by the things I own or the balance in my checking account. I measure my life, as the quote above says, by the moments that take my breath away. My life is not extraordinary because of untold material riches, but because of the richness of the experiences each day brings. It's in the little but oh-so-meaningful things...

It's waking each morning wrapped in my honey's arms, the feeling of being so well-loved filling my being.

It's the sound of the birds chirping outside our window as the early dawn light softly fills the room.

It's our sweet puppy greeting us with unrestrained enthusiasm and excitement after we've been gone, whether for five minutes or five hours, or watching her romp with the other dogs at the doggie swimming pool.

It's tickle time with my honey's boys, the sound of their laughter, or the look in their eyes when they gaze so adoringly at their dad.

It's the unexpected phone call from my son (calling from CA) to share some news, or simply to say hi.

It's the sound of my son's laughter and the sparkle in his eyes when he teases me.

It's witnessing a client's spontaneous "a-ha!" moment, or hearing the joy in their voice after a new breakthrough.

It's brainstorming a new idea or project with a colleague that sparks even greater passion for the work I do.

It's the sight of my honey coming up the walkway after work, and the soft, sweet kiss that follows.

It's that first bite of a delicious meal, or the first sip of a really good espresso or wine.

It's the feel of the sun, and a cool breeze, on my skin on a warm summer day.

It's a cold beer on a hot afternoon.

It's the sight of a beautiful rainbow after an afternoon thunderstorm or the amazing sunset that lights the sky up with shades of orange, pink, and purple.

It's kicking back in my favorite comfy spot with a good book, indulging in a luxurious massage, or catching up with a friend.

It's the long, heart-to-heart talk with my honey that lingers into the wee hours of the morning.

It's waking early on the weekend to realize I don't have to be up and snuggling back in for another hour or two.

It's cruising along in my sweet little honda civic on a gorgeous day with the tunes cranked up, singing and moving to the rhythm of an upbeat song.

It's laughing with my honey until we cry and our sides hurt. 

I could go on and on. My life is filled with these moments, as I'm sure yours is too. What makes them extraordinary, what makes my life extraordinary, is living in the moment, being fully present for these moments. Reveling in them, savoring them, opening my heart and soul fully to them, and truly appreciating them.

It's brought me indescribable joy, made my life (and my biz) so much more meaningful and fulfilling that even in those moments that are less joyful, or downright hard, there's an underlying sense of peace and well-being.

Extraordinary is one of those illusive words that has different meanings for different people. Only you can define what an extraordinary life is for you. How is your life extraordinary? And if it isn't, what do you need to do to open more fully to your life and to the precious moments that can make it extraordinary?

Photo originally uploaded by dtcchc

Ten Other Commandments to Live By

1.  You shall not worry, for worry is the most unproductive of all human activities.

2.  You shall not be fearful, for most of the things we fear never come to pass.

3.  You shall not carry grudges, for they are the heaviest of all life's burdens.

4.  You shall face each problem as it comes. You can only handle one at a time anyway.

5.  You shall not take problems to bed with you, for they make very poor bedfellows.

6.  You shall not borrow other people's problems. They can better care for them than you.

7.  You shall not try to relive yesterday for good or ill, it is forever gone. Concentrate on what is happening    in your life and be happy now.

8.  You shall be a good listener, for only when you listen do you hear ideas different from your own.

9.  You shall not become bogged down by frustration, for 90% of it is rooted in self-pity and will only interfere with positive action.

10. You shall count your blessings, never overlooking the small ones, for a lot of small blessings add up to a big one.

~ Author Unknown

Have you made other commitments to live by? If so, I hope you'll take a few moments to share them in the comments.

Photo originally uploaded by claireg73

Say What You Need to Say

 Whether you're writing posts for your blog, writing marketing copy, or speaking to potential clients if you really want to connect with your market you've got to say what you need to say. Not what you think others want you to say, or what you think you should say, but what you need to say, what you feel called to say.

A couple of weeks ago, after talking with a client about getting the word out about her services, I received an email from her, that said in part:

"These days, there are few things that have me feeling scared. The greatest fear I experience is around our marketing. I often will literally have fear - I break out in a sweat when getting ready to send out a marketing piece or when I make changes on our website. It all ties in with my fears of being misunderstood.

I've spent a lot of time trying to control situations to make sure that everyone is getting what I actually mean and not misinterpreting me and forming false assumptions. Since I can't control anyone, clearly this is a losing proposition! Then the idea of putting a marketing piece out into the ethers (on the internet) where I have absolutely no idea who is looking at it and what they are thinking - well, no wonder my fear goes through the roof!"

No wonder is right. And she's not alone in recognizing that it's scary to put yourself out there like that for all to see, and inevitably, criticize. But here's the thing...holding back or editing yourself in an attempt to please everyone is actually counter-productive. Your message, the message you feel called to share with others, isn't meant to appeal to everyone, because you aren't meant to serve everyone. In the attempt to please everyone your message will actually lose much of the appeal it would have held for those you are meant to serve.

Saying what you need to say, without restraint, will be incredibly appealing and will resonate in a big way with those you're meant to serve. When you say what you need to say, those you're meant to serve will know, without doubt, that they're in the right place, that they've found the right person, or product, or program or blog, to serve their needs.

And those that don't get it? You aren't meant to serve them and saying what you need to say creates a filter so that you don't waste time (yours or the potential client's) venturing into work with a client who isn't ideal for you, and for whom you aren't ideal. They'll move on to someone else. Someone who is better-suited to serve them.

If you've been holding back, censoring yourself, because you're afraid of how others may react, let me say it again...your message, the message you feel called to share with others, isn't meant to appeal to everyone, because you aren't meant to serve everyone.

Focus instead on speaking from your heart as if to a dear friend. Relax and let your passion for your message shine through. It's that passion that will make an almost instant connection with those you're meant to serve. Working with those you're meant to serve is what it's all about...it's energizing, exciting, meaningful, and incredibly fulfilling.

So say what you need to say! Practice right here, right now...in the comments below...what are your thoughts? What holds you back from speaking your mind, from sharing your passion? What's the worst thing that could happen if you began to say what you need to say? And how would saying what you need to say impact you and your biz in a positive way?


Photo originally uploaded by Michelle Brea

The #1 Myth About Living in the Moment

Life is all roses and sunshine and you live a fairy tale existence. Nothing ever goes wrong and you're always happy. That's the #1 myth about living in the moment.

I'm not sure how that myth got started but I suspect it had something to do with the positive thinking/affirmations movement. You know the one...where you're led to believe that if you try hard enough and think enough positive thoughts, that you'll always be happy, never suffering a moment's distress. The problem with attempting to maintain a constant stream of positive thinking is that we're intelligent enough to recognize when we're bullshitting ourselves.

And therein lies the critical distinction between positive thinking/affirmations and living in the moment. One is based on trying to convince yourself that life is all roses and sunshine even when the fact that you're dripping wet from head to toe is evidence that your parade has just been rained on, and one is based on the reality of the moment, on what is rather than on what you'd like reality to be.

It's this myth that living in the moment means always being happy that can leave you feeling as though you must be somehow doing it wrong or it's  something that only a select few "enlightened" spiritual masters ever attain, because, come on, let's get real here...no one is happy ALL the damn time.

The truth is, living in the moment, isn't about being happy all the time, thinking nothing but positive thoughts, or repeating affirmations all day long. It's not about being Mary Poppins. It's about being fully present in each moment with whatever is happening and with whatever you may be feeling, without resisting it, exaggerating it, telling stories about it, getting lost in the past, or projecting into the future.

Living fully, living in the moment, is about embracing all that life has to offer and cherishing the experience...the joys, and the sorrows. The beauty of living in the moment is that the more you're able to stay present to the moment, the more joy and peace you'll experience. Then even when the sorrows arise, as they inevitably will from time to time, you may find, as I have, that it doesn't last as long, and that despite the momentary sorrow, there's a knowing that underlies it, a knowing that you'll be okay, and that the sorrow will pass.

FREE Skin Cancer Screenings

It was a spring day about three years ago when my oldest son came home from an appointment with the dermatologist. He'd had a stubborn rash we suspected was due to an allergy to metal that wasn't responding to the OTC hydro-cortisone creams I'd purchased for him.

"How'd it go?" I asked.

"Fine. He wrote me a scrip, said it should clear up within a week or so," he replied. Then, almost as an after-thought, he went on, "Oh, and he biopsied three moles."

I'd been working when he walked in, and I must admit, I hadn't been giving him my full attention. At that, my head snapped up, and I screeched, "He did WHAT?!" He now had my full, unwavering attention. "What do you mean he biopsied three moles?"

"He said there were three moles on my back that looked suspicious, so he removed them and sent them to be biopsied," he replied calmly.

There were two reasons why this news came as a bit of a surprise to me.  Not only had my son not gone to the dermatologist for a skin cancer screening, but he was barely 18 at the time.  It never even dawned on me that a skin cancer screening might be a good idea for someone so young.  After the initial surprise, I wasn't too concerned for the same reason. I marked my calendar for the day a week or so later, when the doctor had told him he'd have results, and didn't give it too much more thought.

Imagine my surprise when my son got the call from the doctor telling him that although the moles hadn't been actively malignant, they were pre-cancerous. The doctor went on to explain to my son, that had they not been removed they would have grown into melanoma, likely within ten years. I was floored. The thought that, had my son not happened into the dermatologist for something totally unrelated, he could well have wound up with melanoma by the time he was 28, was hard to comprehend.

To say that I am incredibly grateful that he did go to the dermatologist when he did, and incredibly grateful that this particular doctor took the time to screen him while he was there, is an understatement of epic proportions.

Why am I telling you all this? Because May is Skin Cancer Awareness Month and Olay, the American Society for Dermatologic Surgery (ASDS) and Marcia Cross have joined together to invite you and your girlfriends to get a free skin cancer screening.

While the invitation reads "you and your girlfriends," the offer isn't limited (from what I can tell) to women, so spread the word and invite all those you care about, men and women, young or old, to take advantage of the opportunity to get checked. Better safe than sorry. As with any cancer, the importance of early detection can't be stressed strongly enough.

Photo originally uploaded by RcktManIL's

Letting Go of Fear - When Denial is a Good Thing

That's my oldest son, sitting proudly on his brand-spankin' new motorcycle, moments after rolling it off the showroom floor last July. His excitement that day was palpable. I think the last time he'd been that excited was on his 2nd birthday when his dad and I presented him with his first car - a little red (battery operated) corvette.

His excitement that day was equal to my fear. As I snapped that photo that day, I was smiling at his excitement, even as I was internally panicking. I wanted to be happy for him, was happy for him on one level, but equally afraid on another.

The idea of my sweet little boy (okay, yes, I get that he isn't a little boy anymore...that's beside the point) cruising along at 65 mph on the freeway with cars zooming past him...well, suffice it to say, even now, the thought makes me physically shudder. There is no fear quite like that of a parent for the life of their child. If you let it, it can consume you.

I drove my son completely nuts for the first few weeks, with nearly constant reminders to be careful, to remember that motorcycles are virtually invisible to other drivers, to be sure he was ultra-aware of his surroundings, etc. etc. etc. I knew I was driving him crazy. I knew I was being the stereotypical, over-protective mother, but I couldn't quite help myself.

Everyone I know who rides, or has ever ridden, has put their bike down at least once, if not more than once, and the thought of the potentially life-threatening reality of my son doing so at some point, was, to put it mildly, causing me to go a little out of my mind. I joked to him and to others, that I'd never have a peaceful night's sleep again, and I was only half-joking. It didn't take long for me to realize that if I didn't somehow find a way to let go of my fear, I really wouldn't ever have a peaceful night's sleep again.

My son was 20 when he bought that bike. No longer a child, and living on his own. It was out of my control and there was nothing I could do to ensure his safety, or to change his mind about riding a bike. He's 21 now, living in California, and he rides that bike every day. He doesn't own a car, and has no plans to purchase one. He rides that bike, day or night, sun or rain, clear skies or (gasp!) through thick, early morning (as in 3am) fog.

Last week, the rear tire went flat while he was traveling 55+ on a winding stretch of two-lane highway. As he described the tail end of the bike suddenly going wild, the only thing that kept me from having a heart attack right then and there was the fact that his voice on the phone proved he'd survived the scare unharmed.

If I allowed myself to think about, to envision, the possible dire consequences of his passion for riding, I would literally go out of my mind. So, I don't. I simply do not think about it. Most of the time.

Occasionally, the thought that the middle of the night phone call I most dread might come, does unwittingly enter my mind, as it did last night as I was drifting off to sleep. The fear gripping my heart like an icy-cold, iron vise. The thought that I could lose my son so unbearable, that I simply must shut it out again.

It's a form of denial that serves me well. It's the kind of denial that is, indeed, a very good thing. A sanity-saving thing. While denial is not something I would normally recommend as a healthy coping strategy, in instances where the circumstances that elicit fear are completely and totally out of your control, there's nothing much else to do. It serves no purpose, whatsoever, to allow fear to become a constant companion.

Denial then becomes a means by which to let go of the fear. It allows me to look at the photo of my son on his bike, and smile. Smile at how proud he was to have bought it himself. Smile at how excited he was to live something he'd only dreamed of before. Smile to know that riding is just one of the ways in which he lives his life fully. Joyfully. And that, more than anything, is what I've always wanted for my son.

Learning to Roll With the Unpredictability of Life

Yesterday was a beautiful spring day...blue skies and sunshine and a high of 80. Today? It's snowing here in Denver. To the right is the view out the window beside my desk. The leaves on the tree, green again, and flowering. Some of the white you see on the tree are flowers, some snow.  A study in contrast...spring unfolding even as winter holds on for another day.

I could bemoan the cold temps and slushy snow but the weather doesn't much care what I think of it and isn't going to change to suit my mood or desires. So I figure I have two choices...I can spend the day whining and wishing for sunshine, or I can enjoy the beauty and almost magical quality of the snow falling outside my window, to land on the newly green leaves and the early spring blooms of the trees.

If not for tv and radio broadcasting weather predictions, no one would have guessed while enjoying the lovely spring day yesterday, that today would bring snow. Mother Nature is like that, and so is life. I cannot predict, based on today, what tomorrow will bring, and so I try not to spin stories, positive or negative, about events that have yet to happen, and when something occurs that isn't quite as expected or predicted, I try to roll with it, to make the most of it, to see the positive rather than the negative. For me, living fully, means living in the moment, and embracing whatever shows up in my life.

Am I always successful? Nope. Sometimes I catch myself getting stuck in resistance, in wishing things were somehow different. The beauty of life is that it gives us lots of opportunity for practice, and so today I'm snuggled into my favorite comfy spot on my couch with my sweet puppy curled up beside me as I write, and I smile each time I look up to see the big fluffy snowflakes falling gently outside my window.

Productivity Secrets for Creative Entrepreneurs - Grab the First Module for FREE

Productivity is a hot topic. The books, courses, and online information on the subject, are too numerous to count. Probably because it's something we all struggle with from time to time. Either we're way too busy and trying to figure out how to be more productive so we can get even more done, or we're stuck in a rut, knowing full well that we need to be getting more done, but can't seem to kick it into gear.

If that's sounding familiar (and I'm betting, unless you're very unusual, that it is) then Productivity Secrets for Creative Entrepreneurs is a home-study course you're going to want to check out. It's not like any other...you won't learn some new and ridiculously complex time-management system. In fact, quite the opposite...it focuses not just on what you do, but how you do it.

As the website states, you'll learn:

• The most important distinction every creative entrepreneur needs to know to quickly assess whether or not you’re spinning your wheels or producing results in areas that really matter.
• The single most important question you can ask yourself (or your staff) when you get stuck or frazzled.
• The start-up secret that will save you at least 4 hours every week.
• How to use a simple little physics principle to INSTANTLY eliminate overwhelm and get back to producing results and having fun!
• The shocking truth about multi-tasking. This is clinically proven, mental health information you need to know.
• How to use “spiritual aerodynamics” to decrease your drag and increase your productivity, effectiveness and life satisfaction.
• How to effectively break the email addiction and create 50% - 80% more FREE TIME within 24 hours.
• The key to re-training your clients and staff so they feel even more taken care of with less human effort on your part.
• Why you need to immediately retire your trigger finger and enjoy the lost art of accumulation.
• The single most important thing you need to STOP doing today if you’re having trouble getting things done.
• Why you need to get on what my friend Tim calls a “low information” diet and why most of us are being swept away in information overload.
• How to quickly determine what’s most important to YOU in your business and life so you can stop being distracted and scattered with meaningless tasks.
• How to re-assess your “To Do” list from a LIVE MORE perspective
• What needs to be on your “Not To Do” list and why you should have one.
• Why long-term goals rarely work for the ultra-creative and highly productive and what to use instead that does.
• An easy fill-in-the-blanks tool to uncover your personal “time suckers.” (Bonus: you can reuse this tool over and over to re-assess your time as your life and business shifts!)
• The single most important thing you need to do BEFORE you outsource or hire anyone. (Miss this step and you’ll pay for it big time in hard earned cash, lost revenue producing time and profit!)
• Reliable outsourcing resources to get others to work for you at a fraction of the cost.
• How to outsource the right way so you don’t waste time or money.
• Why you need to use the “ODG method” to spend your time on what matters most to YOU and stop your big dreams from getting lost in minutiae.

Marie Forleo created this home-study course and because she wants to share this information with as many people as possible, she's giving away (yup, you heard that right...giving away) the first module of the course.

Get instant (and free) access to the first module of Productivity Secrets for Creative Entrepreneurs now and see for yourself. The free audio replay of the tele-seminar, 3 Simple Steps to Radically Transform Your Productivity...Within 24hrs! is also available for free.

Marie is a dear friend and and colleague but this post isn't about simply supporting a friend in making sales, or about earning a fat affiliate commission (because I'm not). This is a product I believe in, offered by a woman I believe in - an entrepreneur who walks her talk and creates information products because she genuinely cares about sharing the information than has been instrumental in helping her to live a life and create a business she's passionate about and loves. I'm posting about it for the same reason...and so I want to share with you anything that I think might better support you in living a life you love, and in building a successful business that supports that life.

So take a peek...if you love it as much as I do, you may decide to purchase the full course, and if it doesn't resonate for you, you won't have risked a thing by giving it a test drive.

 

 

The Next 18 Minutes Could Change Your Life

I don't remember now what it was that I'd been doing when I popped over to my friend, Marie Forleo's blog a few days ago, or what it was that I thought was so important to do, but I thought I didn't have time, couldn't spare at that moment, 18 minutes to watch the video she was recommending. "I'll watch it later," I thought.

Thankfully, this morning, I did take the time to watch it. Thankfully, it didn't get lost in the minutia of my busy life, because, as Marie states in the title of her post, this video can change your life, your experience of life, if you let it.

If you take the 18 minutes and 44 seconds to watch it, if you really listen to what this amazing woman has to say about the gift of a profound life experience and what it taught her about the way in which our brains function and the ability we all have to choose, in each moment, the consciousness from which we live, it truly can be one of those incredible "a-ha" moments and realizations with the power to change your life.

So whatever it is you were doing before reading this post, whatever it is you were planning to do after reading this post, it will wait. Take 18 minutes and 44 seconds to watch this video. It's worth every moment.

And then, take a few more moments to really absorb it, to think about it, to talk about it and to share it with others. Because, as neuroanatomist Jill Bolte Taylor says, it's an idea worth spreading.

3 Simple Steps To Radically Transform Your Productivity...Within 24hrs!

Productivity...always a hot topic, especially for entrepreneurs who, rather than punching a time clock and being paid hourly whether we're especially productive or not, earn our living in direct proportion to how productively we spend our days.

Productivity is something most of us have struggled with from time to time. If you're feeling overwhelmed, if you're finding you're procrastinating more than you'd like and you're less productive than you'd like as a result, then let me introduce you to an amazing woman who will transform your productivity.

Marie Forleo is a dear friend and colleague who is simply inspirational and brilliant in her approach to life and productivity. She lives what she teaches, and I'm tickled to be co-hosting a free tele-seminar with Marie, "3 Simple Steps to Radically Transform Your Productivity....Within 24hrs!" that will transform the way you live and work.

Hint: The secret to getting more done is not in what you do but how you do it.

I really hope you'll join us this Thursday at 3pm EDT. Marie and I always have a blast when we get together and she'll be sharing some of her best stuff on this call. If you can't make the live call, register now anyway and we'll be sure you get the recorded audio.

I hope to "see" you there!