The Wilder Zone

Sometimes Life is Just Like That

I can't even begin to tell you how good it feels to be writing this post. The last few months have been some of the most difficult of my life. I've been dealing with one personal challenge in particular that no one would ever choose to take on. And as the saying goes, "When it rains it pours." Sometimes life is just like that.

I've missed blogging, missed the creative flow of ideas and the passionate drive to share them with you. Perhaps if the personal challenge I was facing was something I could share I'd have been able to continue posting throughout it, but even if it were, the truth is during much of the last few months I simply didn't have the energy to do so.

It was all-consuming and left me much of the time feeling completely drained emotionally, mentally, physically. Were it not for the amazing love and support of family and a few close friends I honestly don't know how I'd have gotten through it all.

In the midst of it all there were several other things that occurred - my 20 year old son moved out of state, my cat's chronic illness worsened to the point that I had to put him down, and information revealed to me regarding a neighbor required that I report a serious crime, file an order of protection and move from the area I've called home for nine years.

At times there was so much going on that it left my head spinning. It felt surreal and I'd find myself thinking, "Surely this cannot be my life." It played out more like a soap opera, or an episode of Law & Order.

Thankfully, the loved one around whom the most difficult challenge revolved, is doing exceptionally well and life is feeling more "normal" (whatever that is). I am, once again, feeling calm and grounded and as though my world has finally stopped spinning. It feels very, very good.

You have my most sincere apology for having just disappeared, and my gratitude for your patience and understanding. I have truly missed being here, but I'm sure you can all relate to the necessity at times, of having to devote your limited time and energy to the unexpected situations that inevitably arise. Sometimes life is just like that.

International Women's Day 2007

Today is International Women's Day 2007.  A day that, according to the International Women's Day website, is "the global day connecting all women around the world and inspiring them to achieve their full potential. IWD celebrates the collective power of women past, present and future."

That's something worth celebrating, and it serves as a reminder to take the time to reflect on, and offer our gratitude to, all of the women in our lives who have inspired us, influenced us, encouraged and supported us, in being and becoming who we are.

There's an incredible group of women who have done that for me. My mother has an amazing circle of friends that I have been truly blessed to get to know and love. They are strong women, women who are living their lives fully and with passion. Women who embrace the full spectrum of life, allow themselves to feel the joys and the sorrows. Women who, even in the face of challenges, are strong enough, courageous enough, to admit their struggles, self-aware enough to learn and grow from them, and who through it all are able to laugh at themselves and life.

These are the women, when I'm feeling low, or doubting myself, that I long to surround myself with. Being in their presence, being witness to their intelligence, strength, and beauty, reminds me of my own. Being with them renews my energy and my belief in myself, and in my ability to live fully and joyfully, regardless of what life throws my way.  They are inspiring, not because of any specific feats of accomplishment, but simply because of the way they embrace  all of who they are and what life has to offer. 

I used to joke when I was feeling burned out, that I needed "some goddess energy." Now, from time to time, when any one of us feels the need, when any one of us is feeling as though our "goddess energy" is low, we arrange a "goddess gathering" and we all get together to enjoy a few hours of one another's company, to catch up on one another's lives, to share the joys and the sorrows, the accomplishments and the challenges. I am so very grateful for these women. Everyone should be so blessed.

Who are the women in your life who have made a difference? Who have inspired you, encouraged you, challenged you, to be all that you are? Who are the women in your life who have supported you, believed in you, when you most needed it? Take a moment today to connect with these women, past and present, to acknowledge them, to express your gratitude, to celebrate them.

The Challenges of Technology

This post could just as aptly be titled, Why I am Losing my Mind!

Technology is both a blessing and a curse for those of us who are not especially tech-savvy, all depending on the circumstances. I love technology. I do. But for the last several days I've had to keep reminding myself of that fact.

My system crashed on Saturday. Never a pleasant experience for anyone I'm sure, but even less so for someone like myself who is really only tech-savvy enough to be dangerous. I managed to get my system back up finally, but I'm still in the process of re-building it.

While I didn't lose all of my data, thank God, I did lose all of my email contacts. Email contacts which I'd acquired over the last several years. Frustrating to put it mildly. Now, I could simply have re-loaded Windows Office and started again with Outlook, or with Mozilla's Thunderbird, but I'm not one to simply fix a problem. I much prefer to look at how to prevent the problem from occurring again.

I began to wonder if using webmail for my biz email and contacts might not be a better way to go. Then, should my system ever crash again, I wouldn't risk losing all of the precious contacts I'd acquired. Gmail has been getting such good press that I decided to check it out. I'd never done so before because I prefer to use an email address for biz that looks professional rather than one that ends with @gmail.com.  I was pleasantly surprised to discover that they've got an app that will allow you to use your domain name (among other cool features), and that Google walks you through, step-by-step, how to set it up.

It seemed straight-forward enough and I must say I was quite pleased with myself (not being a techie and all) when I was able to follow their instructions and make the necessary changes. I was grinning and figuratively patting myself on the back for a job well done,  until.....(if this were a movie you'd hear ominous music playing right about now)....I discovered that my blog was <gasp!> GONE! Yikes! What the hell did I do?!

Back into my webhost account to try to figure out what I'd done.  After much trial and error, I managed to get the blog back up, but the formatting was a mess. Back into my webhost account yet again, reversing all of the changes I'd made previously and still no luck. My blog still looked like something a five year old threw together on a whim, and now I was in a panic.

It's interesting to note over these last two days that my blog has been a mess, how unsettled I've felt. It was driving me nuts. I felt exposed, vulnerable, like I'd gone out in public and suddenly realized I wasn't dressed. I hadn't, until now, realized just how identified I've become with my blog. Hmmm.....I don't know if that's a good thing or not. I do know, that although I'm a huge proponent of stepping boldly into uncharted territory and learning as you go, that when it comes to my blog I won't be doing it again.

It's only thanks to the sheer brilliance and genius of my dear friend and colleague, Andy Wibbels, that this blog is now back to its former self AND my new email addy: lisa@thewilderzone.com is working. YAY!  I won't be venturing back into the techie Wilder Zone again without Andy as my guide.

Where Does the Time Go?!

My life got a little crazy right before Christmas and then it got even crazier in mid-January.  Some family challenges arose and simply required a great deal of my time and energy.  Life, especially in The Wilder Zone, is like that sometimes.  After a few intense weeks dealing with the family issues, I then found myself scrambling to catch up on a couple of big projects that hadn't been getting the attention they needed.  And blogging? Despite it being one of my favorite activities, it clearly fell by the wayside.

I wanted to blog. I LOVE bloggging. I've missed it more than I can say, but the truth was I simply didn't have the energy or the time for awhile. We don't always have the luxury of spending our time in precisely the way we'd like to. Next thing I knew, it had been weeks since I'd posted. Where did the time go?!

That posed a whole different challenge. The more time that passed, the more resistance I found myself feeling to posting. The more time that passed, the more I beat myself up for not keeping up with the blog. Not the best way, by a long shot, to inspire myself to post.

Sometimes even the best-laid plans get derailed. I know this, but I didn't want to admit it and I knew after such a long time I couldn't not admit it when I posted again. I'm very proud of the fact that for the most part, I don't let my personal life derail my professional life, even temporarily. I power on through and take care of business. It's that Super Woman mentality, those ridiculously high expectations that so many of us fall prey to. We've somehow been conditioned to think we should be able to do it all no matter what circumstances we find ourselves in. 

The truth is, sometimes that's simply not possible, and when that's the case choices have to be made about where to spend our time and energy. Although blogging was one of the things I most wanted to be doing, it was one of the least pressing. Dealing with the family situation couldn't be put on hold. It had to be dealt with and it had to be dealt with immediately. The projects I'd committed to, while they could be put on hold for a short time, couldn't be set aside indefinitely. The blog, among other things, was by default what had to be put on hold.

Never did I dream it would end up being put on hold for weeks, and when I realized just how long it had been the next conundrum was how the hell to jump back in. Well....duh....as my mother in her great wisdom pointed out....the only way to jump back in was to just do it! After hearing this bit of wisdom from her I started to blubber, "But, but, but....It's embarassing. I'll have to admit that I'm human, that....<gasp>....I'm not perfect. Maybe I can just jump back in as if nothing had happened and I'd been posting all along."

My mother is one of those people in my life who loves me enough to tell me what she knows I need to hear, even if she also knows it's not what I want to hear.  (Everyone needs to have at least one of these people in their lives. I'm fortunate enough to have a few.)  She was quick to point out that I was kidding myself if I thought I could pick back up without posting about where the hell I'd disappeared to. She was, of course, absolutely right.

This blog is, at its core, about living true to yourself, fully expressing yourself, and living passionately and fully even when it isn't comfortable, even when it means stepping into The Wilder Zone, and exposing who you really are to the world, warts and all.  So how can I possibly hope to inspire others to step more fully into their lives and businesses if I'm pretending to be infallible? If I'm portraying the journey as some idealistic nirvana?

The truth is, living fully, passionately, living in The Wilder Zone, is full of challenges, but it's those very challenges that ellicit the greatest growth. That allow us to become even more fully the people we know we are or can be. It's riding out the challenges, growing from them, triumphing over them, that brings such joy to the journey as well. There's nothing else like it and I wouldn't trade it for the world.

So I'm back, warts and all, and I have a funny feeling that you'll forgive my absence.

Fear: What Might it be Trying to Tell You?

I write often on the subject of fear but I don't know that I've ever written here about one of the more positive aspects of fear. Yes, even fear isn't all bad. While we certainly don't want to let fear prevent us from living fully, it can be very worthwhile to give a bit of thought to what fear might be trying to tell us when it arises.

Fear can seem to pop up out of nowhere for no apparent reason, but in truth, it arises from some thought, belief or perspective, and it's only our lack of awareness that makes it seem as though it's popped up out of nowhere.  It can be quite enlightening to recognize from where it stems, when you take the time to contemplate it. Enlightening and freeing, because once we've become aware of the thought, belief or perspective underlying the fear, we can address it, shift it, transform it, so that it not only no longer creates fear, but no longer holds us back from living more fully.

Whether in our personal or business lives, when things aren't going quite as we'd like, or quite as we'd intended, it's frequently because there's some limiting belief lurking just beneath our conscious awareness. If we tune in to fear when it arises initially, it is entirely possible to become aware of the limiting belief, and doing so is the first step toward changing it before it has a chance to wreak havoc in our lives. Unidentified limiting beliefs can lead us to unknowingly sabotage even the best of our intentions.

This truth was driven home all too clearly to me this morning when a bit of fear arose for me (yes, just because I write about how to shift out of fear, how to move forward despite it,  doesn't mean I don't feel it too) and I took the time to ponder what it was all about and where it was really coming from. It was clear to me that it wasn't, on a surface level, rational. There was no logical reason for me to be feeling it. In fact, quite the contrary...all evidence, everything about the situation, indicated I had nothing to fear. Despite my attempts to convince myself of this truth, I was still feeling....yup, you guessed it....fear. Sound familiar?

When I took some time to ponder what it was really about, since clearly it wasn't about the situation itself, I was able to recognize what was underlying my fear. Despite several challenges over the last few weeks, life is good. Really good. So good it sometimes feels too good to be true. A-ha! Therein lies the essence of this morning's moments of fear....

Life has not always been good, or easy. In fact, before stepping into the Wilder Zone to live my life being more true to myself, there were a lot of struggles, a lot of challenges, and a good deal of painful experiences. All of which I'm grateful for as they stimulated some amazing personal growth, and are a part of who I am and this wonderful life I'm blessed with, today. However, the insight gained this morning, was that they also were at the root of my fear. On some sub-conscious level, some small part of me was waiting for the other shoe to fall, for it to all come crashing down around me. Oh yes, that would explain the fear all right. As soon as I realized where it was coming from, the fear disappeared and I found myself laughing. Needless to say, I don't, on a conscious,  intellectual level, believe that life has to be about pain and struggle, but it's those sub-conscious, emotional beliefs that tend to sneak up on us and can lead us to sabotage ourselves if we don't take the time to listen to what our fears might be trying to tell us.

So the next time you find yourself feeling fear that you don't quite understand, fear for which the source is not clear, I invite you to take a few moments to contemplate it, or talk about it with an understanding friend or loved one. If you can identify what the fear might be trying to tell you, while it may not immediately shift the hold the limiting belief has on you, it will allow you to be more aware of it, and when you're aware of it you can take steps to insure it doesn't continue to hold you back.

Let it Snow! Let it Snow! Let it Snow!

It's been snowing like crazy since early yesterday morning. The CBS channel 4 newscasters have dubbed this "Holiday Blizzard 2006." Early yesterday the school closures scrolled across the bottom of the screen as I watched the news. By late yesterday afternoon it was no longer school closures scrolling, but road & city closures. The entire Denver metro area has come to a screeching halt.

I-25 from Wyoming to New Mexico was closed last night, as was much of I-70. Denver International Airport is closed, stranding nearly 5,000  holiday travelers including my son's fiancee. The Governor has declared a state of emergency and has called out the National Guard to help find stranded motorists and to get provisions out to the airport and to shelters housing other stranded travelers.

I'm fortunate to still have power. 5600 other Lakewood residents woke this morning to discover they aren't so lucky, and many of them, even if they had somewhere else to go, are snowed in and unable to leave their homes.

I'm snowed in and won't be going anywhere for awhile. My sweet little Honda Civic is completely covered in snow, as are all the other cars in the parking lot. I wish I could post a picture, but my new camera phone hasn't arrived yet. It was due to arrive via Fed Ex today. Something tells me that probably isn't going to happen.

Even if I could dig out my car, and successfully back it out of it's parking spot, there's two and a half  feet (or more) of snow on the ground here, and my little car would only get stuck again. Even 4-wheel drive vehicles are getting stuck. Besides...nothing is open, so there's nowhere to go. With the winds, there are snow drifts of 6 feet in some places, and of course, as the snow plows do their work, it will pile up even more. Did I mention it's still snowing?

Embracing Change

You, your life's work, your business, are all evolving as you learn and grow, and sometimes life has a way of taking you in a direction you hadn't originally anticipated. When it does, it's critical to the life of your business that you be open to change, that you roll with the unexpected, that you adapt.  Whether the change is internally or externally motivated, the key to navigating through it successfully is to embrace it, rather than resisting it.

Change has gotten a bad rap.  It's something that we do tend to resist, and often think of as negative. But change isn't negative, it just is. Change is an inherent part of life.  If you're breathing (and I'm going to make what I believe to be a safe assumption and say that if you're reading this you're breathing), then you're in a constant state of change. You are not the exact same person today that you were yesterday, and your day today will not be quite like any other.

Increase Your Productivity: Feed Your Soul

It's absolutely stunning here this weekend.  Beautiful clear blue skies, sunshine, a few fluffy white clouds, warm temps, and the amazing array of colors, from green to gold to fiery red are simply breathtaking.

I drove up Highway 93 to Boulder yesterday for a writing workshop. Highway 93 runs along the foothills between Golden and Boulder and it's a beautiful drive any time of year but especially so right now.

I absolutely love a good road trip, solo or with someone whose company I enjoy. I find solo road trips to be especially rejuvenating, almost meditative. With nothing on my agenda but to enjoy the drive and the time alone my mind is free to wander, to contemplate, to process whatever has been going on in my life. It feeds my soul.

It's been more than a year since my last road trip, and I've been longing to pack up the car and head out on the open road again. For a variety of reasons, now isn't a good time for a long road trip, and while a short 40 min. drive up to Boulder isn't quite the road trip I've been longing for, I really enjoyed it.  I   rolled my window down to enjoy the fresh air, cranked up the tunes and took in the incredible scenery.

I've been feeling burned out in recent months after two years of working long hours with no vacation and it's been affecting my productivity. As I began last week to contemplate a 4-hr. workday, I also contemplated what I'd do with the found hours and I began to realize how many of the things that feed my soul had fallen by the wayside.

Working long hours, day after day after day, will eventually seriously, and negatively, impact your productivity. While you can keep up a frenetic pace for awhile, it's simply not sustainable long-term.

Welcoming Autumn

Autumn doesn't officially begin until the 23rd, but here in Lakewood, Colorado it's been getting cooler and today it's been overcast and rainy off and on all day.  There's a chill in the air, and it feels like autumn.

I think I'll snuggle in for the evening and build a fire to welcome in the new season. I love a real wood fire crackling in the hearth.  And my favorite comfy flannel shirt that I wear around the house when it gets chilly has already been unearthed from my closet. Mmmm....and thoughts of yummy homemade soup and hot cornbread come to mind. I'm not feeling ambitious enough tonight to cook any up, but no doubt I will before long.

There's something comforting about these small, simple, familiar rituals. What seasonal rituals do you enjoy or take comfort in?

My Personal Wilder Zone Gets Even Wilder

August has been one of those months. You know the kind - where things aren't quite flowing in the way you'd like and the challenging days are the norm rather than the exception.  Don't get me wrong. Life is good. It's just been a bit more challenging than usual.

That's life in The Wilder Zone. When you're consistently stepping out of your comfort zone, getting up to big things, stretching yourself, and learning in action, life can at times feel a bit out of control. Some of the events may even seem on the surface to be negative, but often are necessary to move you closer to what you're called to do and be.

With practice it really does become easier to catch those curve balls life throws our way, to roll with the punches, and to learn to see the blessings in even the most challenging situations. It's all just a part of the journey. And I'll gladly accept the challenges of living fully over the comfort and safety of living life on auto-pilot any day. While there may be a few more challenges in The Wilder Zone the blessings and rewards are multiplied too, and I wouldn't have it any other way.